Once you enter, don’t be overwhelmed by the fact that indeed, you have more options than the main entree, pasta and a chickwich. Offerings on a typical day? Smoothies made while you wait, chilled sandwiches to order, the grill, “Asian” food, “Italian” food, the regular, boring entree, about 16 kinds of soda, and little squares of blue jello piled inside an old-fashioned ice-cream dish, topped with a minuscule amount of whipped cream and three miniature M&Ms. And if you forget to go to lunch, you can always hit the Krispy Kreme Doughnuts or Panda Express in the Student Union. Awe-inspiring is the only word for UCLA dining services—you will never go hungry.

Academics

UCLA is about hard work, but not for the sake of knowledge. It’s about working harder than everyone else, because at UCLA, curves don’t help—they kill. Remember that 94 percent you got on a math test last year? That could easily be a C at UCLA. Don’t share notes, don’t study together and don’t even think about helping your friend with that problem set. Enthusiasm runs high, but be prepared to keep it to yourself.

It’s unfortunate that in a place full of such highly motivated people, individual positive energy isn’t shared more within the campus community. Humanities majors are labeled “North Campus,” which is where they take most classes, while science majors are “South Campus” students. And to complicate matters further, there are about five hundred thousand majors; no one is ever just majoring in “bio,” but instead are “psychobiology” or “biotechnical sciences” or “physiological biology.” Such a huge school ensures ample resources (and often a necessity) for creating so many divisions among students. While this gives students a wealth of opportunities, it also seems limiting and suffocating to many students who wish they could try something new, but don’t for fear of failure or of “not belonging” in another department.

Exercise

Woe to the unfit first-year at UCLA, for you will soon become a hermit, locked in your tiny double in Rieber Hall for fear that someone will point and laugh. Fitness is simply life for Bruins. The John Wooden Athletic Center, located in the middle of campus, is larger than all of Adams House. Everyone here is so hard-core that you’d feel silly simply walking on a treadmill—at Wooden, they’re more like sprinting machines. Feeling particularly adventurous? Don’t miss the larger-than-life simulated mountain in the middle of the room, perfectly constructed for rock climbers. Yes, it’s intimidating, and no, you will never get over it. This is no MAC.