Note: For a guide to understanding this column, please refer to the "V-Speak" feature at espn.go.com.

OOOHHHHHH!!! Dick Vitale here! Hey, college basketball fans! It's time for the Big Dance! It's Showtime, Baby! It's Awesome with a capital 'A!' It's Strawberry Shortcake Time! It's March Madness!

So, I know you awl must wondering, "Hey, Dickie V! Who's going to the Final Four this year, the ultimate Dance Party?" Well, I'll tell ya!

This year, I'm going out on a limb. You gotta love the Duke Dukies. Coach K, baby! They have more Prime Time Players than an episode of Temptation Island! Jason Williams! He's a superstar, baby! He's a surf and turfer! Shane Battier! OHHH! Naismith Award, baby! He's a high riser! He's a Human Space Ship! And with Carlos Boozer coming back, look out, baby! It's Dance City! Check it out, Minneapolis, the Dukies are coming to town!

Who's gonna join Coach K at the Party? You can write the invitation already, because you better believe Arizona will be there! Lute! I tawked to Coach Olson just the other day, and he was raving to me about Loren Woods now that he's back from his suspension. Jason Gardner, too, this guy can flat out play. You need a point to get to the tourney, and Gardner can dish the rock with the best of 'em.

Oh, Tom Izzo's in the Tourney? Why didn't you say so! Turn up the music in Motown, baby! Michigan State is returning to the Dance! The Flintstones are extinct except for Charlie Bell, but the senior can do it awl. Andre Hutson can put the rock in the hoop too. It's awl about senior leadership in the tourney, and the Spartans have what it takes.

But, I haven't mentioned Stanford yet! They've got the Collins Brothers, baby! They're the best brother combination since the Karamazovs! The Cardinals are 28-2, baby! Two losses! How can they lose? They've been the best team in basketball all season! They beat the Dukies! They beat Arizona! They beat UCLA! Come on, baby! This is the team that's gonna win it all!

Of course, I haven't talked about Maryland yet! OOOHHH! Gary Williams, baby, he's gonna cut the nets down in Minneapolis, baby! The Terrapins! Stevie Blake, baby! He's a sophomore and a Diaper Dandy! He can shoot the trifecta! He led the ACC in assists, baby! He's another Elliott Prasse-Freeman! The Terps shoulda beat the Dukies three times this year! And, they beat Virginia, who was ranked No. 7 at the time, 102-67! One-hundred-and-two! The Terps can't lose, baby!