Voice-over: "George W. Bush. First pick for kick-ball. First pick for Delta Kappa Epsilon. First pick for president."

[cut to a shot of Al Gore in duct-taped glasses]

Voice-over: "Al Gore. First loser."

For Al Gore:

[footage of Gore giving a speech to a group of seniors in a nursing home. Quiet classical music plays.]

Gore: "I may not be the most exciting candidate. In fact, if you just count me and Bush, I may be the least exciting candidate. Let me give you an example of what I mean. Let's say you took two candidates, of two different excitement levels. One of them would have to be less boring than the other. Well, if you think about it, that's a lot like our current presidential race. And of the two candidates, it's possible that I'm the one who is more boring and less exciting. But you know what? That's a lot better than being a force of pure, unmitigated evil."

[ad ends with rapid-fire images of the devil, an atomic mushroom cloud, a picture of George W. Bush and finally another shot of the devil, set to the stabbing music from Psycho and wrenching screams.]