The truth is, Gwyneth Paltrow still breathes rarefied air, still has stringy hair and still has absolutely nothing to say. My opinions were reconfirmed when I heard about how she recently introduced a journalist visiting her on-set to her live-in sidekick. "This is Leela," said the Grand Trollope. "Leela's my yoga teacher and she makes me organic, macrobiotic lunches that are delicious. What are we having today?" "Spelt," says Leela. "Spelt," says Gushy Gwyneth, "is more easily digestible than wheat. Wheat's very hard on your immune system. But I promise you, you practice Ashtanga every day and you eat like this, nothing can stop you."

Ashtanga or no Ashtanga, I'm thinking, if I bop you in the knee, that's gonna stop you.

IN THE (K)NOW SUPERSTARS!

Two more It People:

IT BOY: Amias Gerety '02. Sure, there are some nice performances in Sweet Charity, but watch for Amias' scene-stealing smirk that appears regardless of the show's tone at a particular moment. If the HRDC ever puts on a live-action Archie production, ladies and gentlemen, I think we've found our Jughead.

IT GIRL: L. Zoe Tananbaum '02. I reaaalllly didn't like Zoe Tannenbaum after I first met her. Not that I knew her. She just reminded me of Gwyneth Paltrow. With her pretty face and perfect hair and cool clothes and flavor-of-the-month cellphone, Zoe was the uber-chick of the New York crowd. In good time, however, I realized that Zoe is, in fact, infinitely more intelligent than the Gwynesaurus and is one of those hip, wonderfully unique characters you must meet before you leave Harvard.