The Lampoon is open to changing its demands, Warburton said.

In addition to the chair, The Crimson would also receive $500 if incoming Crimson President Alan E. Wirzbicki '01 would agree to certain stipulations.

"If we could get Wirzbicki in a cage, hanging from the ceiling at our next party, that would be okay too," Warburton said. "He could read, think or go-go dance. There would be music playing, so he could get tips. We're fairly generous partygoers."

To avoid any offensive images, the Lampoon requested that Wirzbicki wear "underclothes."

Wirzbicki said last night that he refuses to bend to Lampoon demands.

Simon, however, said he was upset that the Lampoon had overlooked his own cage-dancing skills in favor of his successor's.

"Back in the mid-80s, I made quite a name for myself in L.A. as a cage dancer," Simon said of his career wiggling to the Chuck Mangione number "Feel So Good."

He has been out of the cage for years after injuring his hip attempting a particularly dangerous dance move mastered only by A.J. of the Backstreet Boys. But, Simon added, his retirement is by no means permanent.