FILM

And I thought we were doomed! Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the tag line for Head and Shoulders shampoo in the United States is, "Life never gives you a second chance to make a first impression." But the tag line for Head and Shoulders shampoo in India is just, "Life never gives you a second chance."

SKINEMA!

In this day and age, magazine editors, lighting directors, cinematographers, etc. aren't going for the natural look. If a star has a zit, scar, mole or other unsightly "blemish," the powers that be are gonna zap it; after all, computer technology can easily give a star a glowing tan and lustrous, poreless complexion. (Which brings me to an earth-shattering question. Who orchestrated Nicole Kidman's makeover? Check out 1989's Dead Calm and you'll see a completely different Mrs. Cruise. She looks fat, frumpy! She's got loads of freckles! Her hair is nappy! Now Nicole is deathly pale, skinnier than Calista Flockhart, and there's never a freckle in sight. )

It's hard watching movies and flipping through magazines without asking incredulously--how can these stars look like that all the freaking time? How can these humans (presumably) never have a pimple? Some very bored Internet junkie has taken upon himself the responsibility of exposing (literally!) Hollywood with www.skinema.com, a new website that's all the rage. Revealing an unhealthy obsession with dermatology, the site collects candid photos and close-up pictures of major actors and actresses, putting all their hidden skin conditions under a take-no-prisoners microscope.

You'll see that Vanessa L. Williams, Samuel L. Jackson and Brad Pitt all suffer from adult acne. Even more encouraging, Elizabeth Hurley has some acne scars too. Angelina Jolie has a nice big scar in the middle of her neck, Angela Bassett suffers from a balding condition, Val Kilmer has a distended sac on his elbow, Leonardo DiCaprio suffers from pimple outbreaks regularly, Britney Spears had a mondo cyst underneath her lip during the cover shoot for "Baby One More Time," Marky Mark's got a third nipple, Liv Tyler and Jennifer Love Hewitt both have chicken pox scars, the list just keeps going. Need a reading period self-esteem booster? Check it out for another lesson in showbiz magic.