One of the injured men, the Scotsman reports, had his face basically cut down the middle--yet somehow survived. Some of his fingers were also injured.

"An operation to re-attach a finger and thumb he lost while trying to shield himself from the swordsman's blows was postponed after doctors grafted the digits on to his other arm to prevent the tissue from dying," the Scotsman reports.

In other words, to save the fingers from one arm, they stuck them on the other. I can't think of enough horrible adjectives for this story. When did the world around us become so manic? It's really frightening to think about how rapidly the world can tilt out of control. When did reporting the news become so crazy?

Conclusion: What a week. The Second Law of Thermodynamics is seeping into the newsroom. Civilization is on a perpetual decline. The World Is Coming To an End.

I'm just being an alarmist. Seriously, doesn't this scare you? 'Cause it scares the bejeebers out of me. And you know what? There's still time for another weird incident. The week isn't over yet.

Vasugi V. Ganeshananthan '02, a Crimson editor, is an English concentrator in Lowell House.