Renee bought me a small country yesterday along with a computer! He says I do not need that pad with the letters on them, so I just click on the e-mail (is that what you call it?) with the moose. Renee showed me how to look at pages dedicated to me! They are so wonderful, so full of passion and love. But my favorite page is the "Celine Dion Sucks" page which suggests that I am on a "quest for domination." But I am already #1! I have already won my Grammy! Barbra Streisand is my best friend! I must be more passionate! More beautiful! More full of love! They think that I sing so loud because I am "sexually frustrated." They compare my voice to a "screaming banshee who is being beaten with barbed wire and then being chopped up and fed to a rabid goat." Everyone knows that there are no goats in Canada. Then they suggest that I am not "pretty and sweet" like I seem, but rather "pure evil and not from this planet."

These people do not understand! God blessed me with a voice. Maybe I should sing louder.

Didn't Celine Dion say she was going to semi-retire for two years? Doesn't that mean from all public view? We don't want books, we don't want CD's (she just released another one!), we don't want to hear your voice or read your words for 730 days. Capiche?

Questions, Comments? E-mail schainan@fas