At a similar time in her pregnancy, Payanzo was not as sure of her plans.

Only upon her arrival on campus had Payanzo begun to consider the consequences of her pregnancy. Having ended on an uncertain note with Yazzie, he did not factor into her plans.

"When I came here, I was thinking that I would either have to raise the kid on my own, leave school and find some way to get by, or not have the baby," she says.

An abortion seemed like the most reasonable choice. Payanzo consulted a University Health Services (UHS) counselor, who referred her to a women's clinic in Boston. Payanzo made an appointment but didn't really want to go through with it, she says.

"I felt like I had to [have an abortion] to be responsible but I felt like I was being told what to do. I just couldn't do it," she says. "[I wanted] to be able to feel that I had asserted myself in my life."

In the end what Payanzo wanted didn't matter. When she finally had an ultra-sound to prepare for an abortion, she was told she was too far along in her pregnancy to have an abortion. Instead, she started making plans for the rest of her pregnancy and the expected baby.

Although she says the support she received from UHS was encouraging, Payanzo still waited until Thanksgiving to tell her mother and friends she was pregnant, worried about their reactions.

"I truly expected to have to battle my way through opinions, negativity and stereotypes," she says.

But Payanzo was pleasantly surprised by the response, particularly her mother's.

Not angry at her daughter for hiding her pregnancy for so long, Payanzo's mother says she approves of her daughter's decision to have the child and attend Harvard.

"Whatever she decided I would have accepted," her mother says. "I'm glad she had the baby. I think what she did was good."

The reactions from Payanzo's peers were just as encouraging.

"The first words people said were congratulations," she says. "People were really accommodating."

As the date approached, several of her entryway-mates in Canaday Hall even threw her a baby shower. Although she was accidentally sent the e-mail about the "surprise" shower, she says it made her happy to know that her floormates cared.

Determined To Wear Crimson