Although they are not of the same religiousbackground, Weiss and Ferullo have discussed howto deal with the issue.

"He's Catholic and I'm Jewish, "Weiss says.["This year] I'm going to be pretty insistentabout him coming to my seder. I just want him tohave more of an understanding."

And Mohammed Asmal '95 says he cannot datebecause "dating is not a part of Islam. It's notgenerally accepted behavior."

Asmal said that Muslim men and women do not goout in private together though he finds thisdifficult "in a society where all your friends...date."

Some students say being in a gay romance canmake the relationship even closer.

Harrell, for example, says that spending almostall of her time with her girlfriend does not posea problem for their relationship.

"We pretty much fall in the married category,so we see each other all the time," Harrell says.

Some of the intimacy is a reaction to thepressures of being a gay Harvard student, saysTheodore K. Gideonse '96, who is gay.

"People feel they have to be secretive," saysGideonse. "You're in a fish bowl and everyone seeswhat you're doing and its prone to gossip."

When sexuality is an issue in the relationship,the traditional rules can change. Oppenheimer, whois bisexual, and Corman have also discussed theissue of seeing other people even after they getmarried, Oppenheimer says.

"Right now, we're moving towards a monogamousmarraige," he says.

Corman says she is willing to allow Oppenheimerto see others because he is bisexual.

"Because it's a matter of sexuality, it wouldbe a little restrictive," Corman says. "I knowthat the love that we share is so strong that itwouldn't be an issue of competition."

Oppenheimer and Corman say that even thoughthey are getting married after only four months ofengagement, their committment to each other isserious.

"The commitment and the connection isunshakable," Oppenheimer says. "[The wedding] isabsolutely not a [joke]. [Convincing friends thatit is not a joke has] been a source of stress."