Ha! Fooled ya!
The day went about as well as you'd expect. Alot of this: "So, you go to a single sex school.What's that like?"
And this: "What are you majoring in again?"
We haven't had anything to do with each othersince.
Drop this magazine and run to the liquor store.Starting Saturday, the HUPD will seal off the Yardand check student IDs. The purpose of this addedmeasure of protection is to prevent hordes ofpolar-fleeced, loafer-clad, baseball-capped,crew-fans-for-a-weekend from entering and cloggingthe halls of Harvard, but it's also possible thatyour friends Jack Daniels and Johnnie Walker mightget stopped, too.
The actual race is something of adisappointment. Don't get me wrong; crew is agrueling sport peopled with some of thebest-conditioned athletes on the globe. Butthere's a reason why Nike doesn't plaster Americawith ads saying, "Just Crew It," and it hassomething to do with the fact that viewing aregatta is like watching paint dry.
Some people complain about this weekend. Therooms are too crowded, introductions are tooawkward, and the event looks like a Phoeneciandrag race cheered on by drunken L.L. Bean models.But I would like to point out the upside of thiswhole dinghy derby: there are going to be largenumbers of people who have had too much to drinkand are in dire need of a place to crash. Readthat last sentence again. And this is one of thefew instances where your Harvard affiliation willelicit more than those lame "pahk ya cah" jokes.
Finally, Head of the Charles weekend offers aunique opportunity for you to display your schoolpride. Forget the races; we usually win and evenif we don't who can tell anyway? Conquer in theareas where Harvard is traditionally weak--i.e.the festive arts. Take to the fields, the sofas,the beer-slicked tiled floors, the bars, and yourroommate's bed. Show the rest of the world thisplace didn't become the most powerful academicinstitution on the planet by producing agoraphobiclosers. After all, 200,000 people will be here tosee the action. JUSTIN INGERSOLL
View of the Charles from the IvoryTower--Not Thrilling:
Professor of English and American Literatureand Language D.A. Miller, who teaches a course on"Hitchcock" which, according to the 1993-94 CourseGuide, considers "offices performed in our cultureby notions of the `thrilling'." Via telephone,here is Miller on the Head of the Charles:
"I'm sorry. I don't know what that is."(Laughter. Click.) JEROME CHOU
View of the Charles from UniversityHall--Upbeat, Cautious
Dean Archie C. Epps III:
"It can be a wonderful event for our studentsif we can achiever good crowd control."
Good crowd control? How will that come about?
"Unfortunately, we have to think a lot abouthow to preserve unintended damage and we hopepeople do not mind the extra security measures."
Any final advice?
"I recommend that students go down to cheer theHarvard boats as they go by."
And does Dean Epps root for the home team?
"Yes, I do." NATASHA H. LELAND