Milk: It Does a Preppy Good

"Somebody's trying to poon the `Poon," Dave said. David J. Kennedy `93, writer, orator, and effete ne'er-do-well, was standing before me in one of his tiffs. He let out a huff of indignation, mussing his debate jock/skate rat bangs. He handed me a crude flyer which he had ripped off a kiosk. It read, "Come to the Harvard Lampoon's Fourth Annual Head of the Charles Prep School Open House. Refreshments served, admission tips offered. Just knock!" Beneath, a crude map invited every Groton, Exeter and Andover refugee to beat a path to our pari-colored door.

"These are everywhere," Dave told me. "This means war." I told him to calm down, that it was a harmless prank, that no one would come.

They came. Drunk, loud and angry. They'd been promised a party and would not be denied. This did indeed mean war.

Kennedy was drinking from a two-liter Cokebottle when he finally snapped. He climbed to thetop of the Lampoon's tower, threw open the windowsand shared his Coke with the parties below.

"How could you?" I asked in horror. "That wasincredibly stupid. Pass me that carton of spoiledmilk."

Soon a few other staffers joined us, and wespent the rest of night proving to our guestsbelow that Harvard's cup really does runneth overwith hospitality.  JOHN ABOUD

A rendez-vous, a Little Crew

Never mind how it happened. Only know this:that during Head of the Charles weekend--thebiggest weekend of the year--I was standing at aHarvard Square newsstand waiting for a blind dateto show up. She hailed from a women's schoolacross the river, and we had agreed to meet atnoon.

On Sunday I arrived at my appointed spot andwaited. Five minutes passed. Ten minutes. Shewasn't going to show.

"Just as well," I thought, and pivoted towardthe river. Then I felt a tap on the shoulder.

"Are you--Justin?" a stranger asked.

I paused. The person didn't fit the descriptionof my date, not even remotely.

"Uh, yes," I said, as if I didn't know who Iwas.

Well, the stranger turned out to be my date.And, I'm proud to say, in June she will becomeMrs. Justin Ingersoll.