"All my roommates can tell what time of night it is by what stage I'm in," she says.

A Conspiracy of Jealousy?

Leonid Fridman '92, president of SONG, says Fritschel and Finkelstein should be proud. In fact, he insists that he and his fellow nerds are labeled anal "only by our enemies." The epithet has derived from "pure envy by those orally fixated Harvard students," he says, explaining, "Anal people tend to succeed in life. Others are just envious. It's nothing else."

While there may be some truth in Fridman's 'anal'ysis, it cannot be said that all oral types envy or dislike their anal counterparts.

"It's kind of funny. You have to have friends who are uptight, so you can be glad you're not them" says Chicu Reddy '95. "Those kind of people are fun to be with in a Woody Allen-ish type of way."

But while their unusual habits may be dismissed as annoying or merely amusing by non-ARPs, anal retentive people may soon be ready to answer Fritschel's rallying call: "Anal people unite. Make the world a neat and organized place."

How frightening.