The show's other male role, Sam Antics, is a dashing hero and makes the most of the alliterative, inadequate lines he is stuck with. Sam Antics and Tom Collins deliver two of the productions's best performances, and two of the only great voices.

The plot takes its inevitable twists, through bars, bust-ups and lusts, and crashes in for a sappy finish. Absurdities crop up, but are short-lived. The tradition of tortured humor fizzles. But the foam bobs on.

WITH the lagging script, the show could have easily been over before the fat lady sang, but certainly not before the fat ladies bustled about the stage. In line with a nickname for the 1920's--the Age of Red-Hot Mamas--stellar performances by Agent Tess Tosterone and Mama Reeglands (Adam Schwartz '89) make the Pudding show bearable.

Mama Reeglands is a six-pack of breasts--they are all over, on her hips, her bottom, her stomach. The ones on her chest are reputed to be the largest over in the Pudding's history, and they often seem to move all on their own. Her performance is all in her appearance--with her faint moustache, one long eyebrow, and house-sized black lace dress--but even better is her body language. Shaking her groove thing, or two, comes natural to Mama, as she forcefully swats a bat and lurches her hips in the "Mobster Mash" number.

Agent Tess Tosterone combines the physique of the Incredible Hulk with the character of Saturday Night Live's "Pump you up" boys, Hanz and Franz. She has the voice and the lines for the job: "I tell you now and you remember later, but believe me now." Zlupko's stage presence and oafish dancing perfectly suit Tess, who is at one point aptly called "Zuberwench."

The sidekicks produce some of the show's lewdest gems. Flapper waitresses Trixie deTrade (Sherwin Parikh '90), a Joisey homegirl in a clingy jade satin mini and fuschia bikini top, and Sheila Lowitt, with sinister eye makeup, deftly trade bedtime barbs. When Trixie is scared by Sheila's desire to be a thespian, Sheila wonders, "How can you be so shallow?" "My boyfriend says I'm deep," Trixie retorts.

Sandy Nista (Erik Anderson '92), the mob leader's girl, has the show's sleekest figure and offers some of the snidest repartee.

The bouncer Lefty Liton (Dean Shapiro '91) plays a Communist whose character is well-suited to the Pudding clientele, even though his delivery may be lacking. Instead of hawking the Worker's Vanguard, he proffers "Uprise and Shine, the official journal of the social climbers' party."

While Mo Rocca '91 was the ideal nerdy Seymour in the Pudding's production of Little Shop of Horrors last semester, his twangy whine and flightiness are ill-suited to Cafe Ole proprietress Fanny L. Hall.

Some of the show's best groaners come when the characters pair off at the end. Tom Collins offers his bride to be "roses on the piano," but Ginny Tonic thinks he'd prefer "tulips on your organ."

The obligatory Wellesley and Hasty Pudding cracks are worth passing over, but Dartmouth is hit with a few zingers. Amanda Pleasme delivers the finest: "We'll get more worked up than a Dartmouth man in a petting zoo."

STILL, much of the show's banter is as boring and subtle as this exchange between a blitzed Senator Bedderly (Nevin Steinberg '89) and Agent Tess Tosterone: "You're drunk," she says. "And you're ugly," he retorts. And don't forget fat, an insult which finds its way into every other joke.

Most of the songs fail to get off the ground, with dull lyrics and unexceptional voices. Fancy footwork by the cast and snappy musical scores redeem a few numbers, such as "Police Don't Eat the Daisies" and "Soldier Soul"--the greatest twisting and shaking of the night.

The problem with most of the songs--and most of the show--is that the words fail the actors. Although seductress Amanda Pleasme swivels her fuschia panties and star-covered chest, nothing can be done to make her lyrics stand out in "You've Got My Vote." Typical of her lines are snoozers like, "You've got my vote/As long as I'm able/And when it comes to love/My motion's on the table."

THE main actors can take credit for whatever zip the show contains. Luckily, this year their efforts are aided by some outstanding professional choreography, set design and costumes. Fat budgets can buy the best.