Rutger ushered me into the cockpit. "Precedent? There is no such thing as precedent in American foreign relations. Every case is decided independently, on a completely random basis. That way there's no favoritism." He added: "If we started rewarding people for being nice to us, what would we have? A world of sycophants."

At that moment a man in a ski mask burst into the cockpit with an AK-47. I knew something was wrong, because it wasn't even cold out. "I am seizing this plane," he said. "We are going to Beirut. Praise be to..."

Suddenly a dangerous-looking character clutching two pinless grenades rushed in. "This plane is going to Sri Lanka," he explained.

Rutger remained calm. "Hold on. I don't mean to be pushy, but I have very pressing business in Teheran. Why don't we plan a route that we can all agree on?"

"Well, I'd really like to get to Beirut by noon," said the first terrorist. "But I suppose if I go via Teheran I could get extra mileage credit on my free flight plan." The second terrorist nodded in assent.

And so, after a brief delay during which we arranged for a pilot to fly the plane, we jetted off to share the American Way with the crack suicide troops of Iran's Revolutionary Guards.