Something ought to be done to keep Capitol Hill dry. Perhaps signs saying "Friends don't let friends vote drunk", or "If a friend's been drinking, vote for him by proxy" might be in order.

We also need to keep alcohol out of the Oval Office. Even though I'm sure the story about President Reagan and Ed Meese calling Gorbachev on the hotline after a night on the town and asking him if his refrigerator was running is just a vicious rumor, it's not worth taking the risk. A breathalizer test before pushing the button is the least we can do.

It should not be forgotten that all of these measures are meant to help adults, and not to hurt them. We want to keep them out of trouble, and protect them from themselves.

For anyone who thinks that drinking only leads to delinquency among minors, let me pose this question:

Think of the last time you saw a 20-year old drinking Old Grand-Dad from the bottle. Where was he? A party at Eliot house, or at the Pudding.

NOW, THINK ABOUT the last time you saw a 50-year old doing that. Where was he? That's right--on a sewer grate on Dunster Street.

Clearly, old people just cannot hold their liquor.

The drinking age must be strongly enforced, with the only grandfather clause being one which prohibits grandparents from drinking.

Old people, it can be expected, will try, just as minors have always done, to get away with breaking the law. Many will beg their grandchildren to let them borrow their ID's for the weekend, even though this constitutes contibuting to the delinquency of an elder.

Finally, these people, who are as articulate and responsible as a 20-year old, will learn the pain of scenes like this one, which are bound to occur outside of bars.

"Hey, pops, you got any ID?"

"Y-yes, son-I mean sir. Right here."

"Hmmmmm. You don't look 29. Who was president when you were born, Roosevelt?"

"N-no..."

"Hey! Is that Grecian formula I smell in your hair, gramps? Are those your real teeth?"

"Yes-I mean, n--"

"Get out of here! We don't serve your kind here. Go home and play with your metal detector."

Perhaps, after enough scenes like this, they'll begin to understand what the drinking age is all about.