However, reports from Harvard undergraduates indicate that missions are, in the words of Finlayson, "very positive, strengthening experiences." Carter agrees, saying that after his mission he felt "more secure" about himself and about Harvard. These four reached highly similar conclusions in their definition of a successful mission. Carter, who fulfilled his mission in Bangkok and Campang, explains. "I would define a mission as successful if the missionary's understanding and appreciation of other people grew and if he changed some lives for the better."

Before his mission in southern Italy and Sicily. Cameron Carson '84 thought that success could be measured in numbers of converts; after several months he realized that personal growth was a more likely yardstick. Finlayson concurs: "Even if I hadn't taught anyone who converted, it would have been a success just in terms of the broadening of my own horizons." Reported conversion rates are impressive in any case: they range from 20 (Carter) to 50 (Beck).

All the missionaries describe a deepening of their own faith because of the missions. As Carson puts it, "During those two years you don't have to concern yourself with a lot of other things, so all your efforts go in a religious direction. Before, a lot of people don't realize the depth and significance of the Church." Beck agrees: "If you spend two years trying to tell people why a church structure is important, and you see people changing their lives to adjust to that structure, you can't help but come to believe in it very deeply."

As Dr. Parrish explains, "If you're involved intimately in teaching people about your faith eight or ten hours a day, that is going to become an intensely spiritual experience." One letter he received from a missionary in the field expressed the conviction that it would be worthwhile to die for the gospel.

DIFFERENCES AMONG the returned missionaries' sentiments surfaced primarily in their attitudes toward Harvard. Finlayson, who grew up in a California town in which his was the only Mormon family, reports little difficulty in adjusting to Harvard life as a freshman. Beck, on the other hand, was shocked and disconcerted by his introduction to the college: on his first night in Cambridge he saw man lying in the street "with blood spurting from both arms," and on his second night he chanced upon two male students kissing on the first floor of Weld. Carson, who grew up in Boise, Idaho, a city with a 20 to 25 percent Mormon population, also reports that he had difficulty learning to live in close proximity with people whose values and attitudes diverged so radically from his own.

As the missionaries differ in their initial reactions to Harvard, so do they report disparate experiences of their return to school after completing their missions. Finlayson found readjustment very difficult: His friends from freshman year had become seniors during his absence, and the need to concentrate on exclusively personal goals clashed with the missionary emphasis on outward-reaching aims. "Sometimes I find myself questioning the value of what I'm doing here," he admits. Carter agrees: "The problems with getting used to Harvard again were partly cultural and partly not being a missionary anymore." Beck alone reports a smooth transition from missionary to student life. His roommates all took a year off, and be enjoys advanced standing while they do not, so he and his friends will graduate together.

Academic as well as personal reactions to the interplay between Harvard and the missionary experience vary. By chance, Finlayson had taken Historical Studies A-14. "Tradition and Transformation in East Asian Civilization: Japan," with Edwm O. Reischauer during his freshman year, so when he learned that he was to fulfill his mission in Japan, he was enthusiastic. Before the mission he planned to concentrate in the physical sciences; now he is an East Asian Studies major, specializing in Japan. Beck too changed his concentration--from Sociology to Sociology and East Asian studies--as a result of his missionary experience. Carter's interest in Asia did not predate his mission: he was "surprised and shocked--and happy" when he received his assignment. Unlike the other two, though, he has taken no courses in Far Eastern studies because none deals with Thailand, the country where he fulfilled his mission.

For all the missionaries interviewed, the Harvard Mormon community is an important resource. The Institute of Religion holds twice-weekly study sessions, at which religious questions and issues are raised and discussed. Although these sessions are held at 8:00 a.m., they are attended by nearly every Mormon who participates in church services at least once monthly.

Finlayson chose to attend Harvard in part because its Mormon population is larger than those of the other Ivy League universities to which he applied. Beck reports that "the Harvard Mormons mean more and more to me all the time." His appreciation of the warmth and solace provided by his religion was heightened during this past summer, when he arrived in Tokyo, utterly without personal contacts, and the Japanese Mormon community found him an apartment and helped him to settle in.

Carter praises the Harvard Mormons, claiming that "they have big dreams and they're working to make them into something. "Carson is in a unique position among the undergraduates interviewed: After completing his mission and then his sophomore year at Harvard, he married a Mormon from his hometown. In addition to his wife, his closest friends are Mormons.

Despite the differences in their attitudes toward Harvard, despite the disparities among their chosen fields of study, despite dissimilarities in their personalities which are manifest even in interviews, the returned Mormon missionaries display one vital characteristic in common: their faith. John Beck summarized the situation neatly when he stated, "The most important thing, if you're going to do a mission, is to believe in it." And they do.