Dean Henry Rosovsky turns down the presidencies of Dartmouth, Brown, Columbia and Penn. He is quoted as saying he felt he could not abandon his review of undergraduate education "at this time."

Frank J. Weissbecker, director of University Food Services, says that the early stages of his "Soybeanization" program have been successful and announces plans gradually to replace "most other foods--except Coke" served by the University Food Service.

Collegium Musicum and the Glee Club join Phi Beta Kappa and other campus groups in asking Harvard to divest its shares in banks lending money to the South African government. President Bok says, "It's a very complex question."

April

After several months of fruitless pleading with the Carter administration and Congress for an extension of emergency aid to New York City, Mayor Edward I. Koch announces the acquisition of "five or six neutron bombs." Comments Koch: "I have nothing against Washington itself, you understand, it's just some of the people there..."

Under the two-year-old, highly-touted sex-blind admissions policy, Harvard admits 1200 prepubescent teenagers and 400 transvestites. Explains William Fitzsimmons: "We sought the most sexually ambiguous students we could find." Radcliffe President Matina Horner declines comment.

The Office of the Arts announces that among its selections for "Learning From" performers will be Claudine Longet, Johnny Rotten, Neil Diamond, John Davidson, and Guy Lombardo's brother.

Dean Henry Rosovsky turns down the presidencies of Chicago, Tufts, B.U., Stanford and Duke, citing a commitment to his study of reform proposals for undergraduate education.

May

Among the top straw-poll choices for Commencement Speaker: 1) The Shah of Iran; 2) Liza Minelli; 3) Neil Armstrong; 4) Pope Paul; 5) Sherman Holcombe; 6) Halston; 7)KAL; 8) Elvis Costello.

In a surprise shift, Frank J. Weissbecker is appointed chief of the Harvard Police, replacing William Lee, who says he plans to devote himself full-time to "keeping my pitching arm in shape." Best-selling author Sherman Holcombe is appointed acting director of University Food Services.

Responding to continued and escalating student complaints about the absence of hot breakfasts, Dean Fox announces that next year hot breakfasts will once again be served in all House Dining Halls. He adds that this will necessitate the serving of "tepid" lunches and dinners. During the night, someone erects a guillotine with Fox' name on it in front of University Hall.

Dean Henry Rosovsky turns down the presidencies of Brandeis, the Jewish Theological Seminary, and Temple University.

The football team joins the Glee Club, Collegium and other campus groups in asking Harvard to divest its shares in banks lending money to South Africa. "But money is the only lever we have," argues Harvard treasurer George Putnam.

June