* * *

He spent senior year watching Woody Allen movies. He saw "Bananas" four times.

* * *

He also wrote a thesis. And took his generals. He headed into orals confident that he would graduate magna cum laude. After all, he had magnas from both his thesis readers, from both his written-generals readers, and he had magna grades.

One of his oral examiners was an English professor who requested to be on his orals board. The department had already lined up an English examiner; the professor resolutely offered to do the history part.

After the orals, the professor refused to recommend anything higher than a cum. Other professors attempted to convince their colleague to relent.

In once sense, he felt vindicated. They had gotten him in the end. All magnas, and yet one egomaniac English professor could screw him. It even made him feel important: These were not unimportant people who had set out to get him. This was the kingpin, the big fish.

At least it made sense.

* * *

Law school was a different matter. He spent hours on the telephone to schools that had lost his application, not received his recommendations, misplaced his transcript, did not know he existed, could not give him any idea of when his application would be processed and did not know why the LSAT sent them someone else's score (which was 620).

They all promised to send him a postcard verifying that his application was complete.

None came.

* * *

By May he had not heard, even though other people with the same board score and the same grades had received acceptances. By June, he still had not heard, although he spoke with the admissions board three times. They said his application was not complete.

* * *