Oct. 17 -They finally put the fire out by dousing the flames with Bay State low-octane Regular, for which Mother Bay State, on behalf of the Bay State-Sinclair Oil Company, presents the Boston Fire Department with 60,000 green plastic "Dino" dinosaurs.

Oct. 36 -Daisies in Art Linkletter's wallpaper come alive and strangle him in his bedroom.

November

Nov. 9 -The little fishes and mites of the sea march out of the waters at dawn and terrorize the villagers in seacoast towns by dancing in the streets and kicking the neighborhood poodles.

Nov. 13 -God suspends the Law of Gravitation at the first turn on the Mystic River Bridge. Car after car goes shooting into the air over the Boston Naval Shipyard.

Nov. 23 -Residents of Hannibal, Missouri, find the Mississippi River flowing north for the first time they can remember.

Nov. 24 -The Harvard University Press publishes an edition of I Ching.

Nov. 29 -Pink, orange, purple, and green clouds drift through the skies over Boston. Small ones cruise down to the Government Center, zoom around City Hall, and leave towards the sea.

Nov. 38 -Noted LSD researcher Felinius D. Cat reaches the revelation: "Water! That's what it's all about. Water is the only thing which is constant. It flows into us. It passes out of us. We, ourselves, are 90 per cent water. We are just fancy transporters that water has come up with to amuse itself. We come and go, existencewise. Water is always here. Water means."

December

Dec. 3 -Richard Nixon, cornered and shouted at by most of the members of his Cabinet, his head swirling with confusion and paranoia, reaches for his briefcase and pushes the nuclear button. In 85 minutes all the major cities of the world have been destroyed, etc.

Dec. 4 -Copies of the New York Times, carrying banner headlines and complete coverage of the events from correspondents around the world, are sold out early to souvenir hunters. Knicks Top Suns in Late Rally, 117-111. Before Capacity Crowd-In Garden.

Dec. 25 -The trees of Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, hold candles and sway back and forth singing Christmas carols to the Kennedys.

Dec. 26 -At 6 a.m. the Sacred Cod hanging high in the state Capitol in Boston winces at the thought of another day. He raises a syringe, gropes for a vein beneath his scales, and sticks it in. He curls his upper lip back and neighs like a horse.

Guevara

Gva. 15 -Russia and the United States form an international banking cartel to combat the economic assault of the growing world-wide chain of Mao Tse-Tung Hand Laundries and Signor Ho Pizza restaurants. (The latter is a burgeoning international corporation in which all Latin American and third world nations own one share.)

Gva. 16 -The U.S. nationalizes all Mao Tsetung Hand Laundries and Signor Ho Pizza restaurants.

Gva. 17 -All Latin American and third world nations land troops in the U.S. to protect the lives and property of their nationals.