June 11 -We all graduate from collage.

June 15 -The Bunker Hill and Washington Monuments are blown to smithereens by paramilitary attack forces from women's liberation coops striking in the early morning hours. Their press release says only that the reasons should be obvious, even to males.

June 20 -Charlie Manson, the recording star, buys the elegant Beverly Hills, California, house of film director Roman Polanski.

July

July 4 -Behind a mortar, bazooka, and machinegun barrage, the Weathermen capture and demolish the Whitehall induction center in New York City as a tribute to the first American revolution.

July 9 -The 202,000 ton supertanker, Tanksalot, breaks up off Plymouth, Massachusetts, in a storm while carrying a full load of Coca-Cola syrup. Things go better in Massachusetts Bay for the next three months.

July 22 -The Rolling Stones release a new album, Go On Up. 6,083,477 are bought in the first week. Lyrics of the songs tell listeners to "get high" and "blast off."

August

Aug. 15 -Henri Perrin, 27 year-old semi-successful rive gauche painter, draws in chalk on the sidewalk of the Boulevard Saint Michel that he will fast until all the killing is stopped.

September

Sept. 1 -The Boston Herald Traveler publishes its last edition and folds. Former staff member Paul J. Corkery eulogizes it in the Harvard Alumni Bulletin: "Ou uont ses reporteurs en autumne?"

Sept. 14 -Egypt announces a "highly successful" test of an atom bomb.

Sept. 15 -Israel detonates a Flouristan 238 Neutrino Anti-matter Fission Device (carried in a briefcase into the middle of the Sinai Peninsula) parting the Red Sea and setting fire to a limited sector of the firmament in what Israeli spokesmen term a "satisfactory test."

Sept. 23 -Frank Zappa's wife gives birth to another child, which they name Nylon Zappa.

Sept. 32 -Riot by white middle class adults in Newton, where they burn their own neighborhoods and shoot each other on the streets in an orgy of guilt.

October

Oct. 2 -Harvard employees and radical students band together to form what they call a "worker-student alliance." A truck driver from B and G walks off the job with his sleeves rolled up, and slams WSA organizer Jared Israel on the back saying. "We've always been sold out by company unions: the students are our only true allies."

Oct. 15 -The Charles River catches fire.

Oct. 16 -The Fire Department, trying to extinguish it with their hoses, floods the city spreading the fire everywhere.