AUGUST

Kissinger deposes Bundy, who flees to the Dominican Republic, where he begins secret negotiations with Juan Peron. President Pusey accepts the offer of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington and becomes Bishop Coadjutor. William Yandell Elliott seizes power in the interregnum claiming the support of the Summer School.

SEPTEMBER

John M. Bullitt, from a stategic artillery position atop Quincy House, seizes control of Harvard. Elliott flees to Concord. Bundy and Peron move into Argentina, but the country is destroyed by a faulty U.S. missile broadcasting the "Battle Hymn of the Republic." Bernard Goldfine comes out of retirement to become Dean of Harvard. From her cell his secretary, a Miss Paperman, reports that he is taking advisement under a typing exam.

OCTOBER

Charles Ravenel announces that due to fines imposed on A.D. club members for failure to attend functions he will be failure to attend functions he will be unable to participate in Varsity games. Kissinger returns from Cuba to become Harvard's defense coach. The Glenn L. Martin Co. announces the successful launching of a seven-pound Vanguard satellite which goes into orbit around Sputnik VII.

NOVEMBER

John F. Kennedy makes his 300th non-political speech of the year. The Student Council's request for readmission is rejected by the NSA. Rebuffed, the Council begins its investigation of the Program for Harvard College. H. Irving Pratt flees to Cuba.

DECEMBER

Dean Monro advises undertaking an exam for typing. Elvis Presley releases his new Christmas sensation, "Silent Night Rock." Forces beyond our control postpone the Second Coming.