("The new dean of the Harvard Law School, James M. Landis, is a versatile entertainer. His favorite trick is to sit atop a quart milk bottle with legs extended, reach to the right and pick a match off the floor, to the left for a cigarette, bring them both to his lips and light them without falling off the bottle."--News item.)
Oh, good Dean Landis is as smooth as silk--
He can sit with case on a quart of milk,
With his legs extended to the north and south
And no visible tremor of his jaw or mouth.
He prefers milk bottles to a cozy chair
He's a versatile and vivacious chap
And he seems content as he's sitting there;
Who doesn't mind acting as bottle cap.
He can reach for a smoke at his nearby right
And reach to his left for the means of light;
Through the parlor trick he will never lurch --
What a dean! What a stunt! What a smoking Perch!
He picked up this trick as a freshman raw --
And look where he's gone in the field of law!
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The Vagabond