To knowledge of such things.
Is a weak and watery matter
That was handed on a platter--
(A vessel I shall shatter)--
From a rostrum decadent.
On my mind is sternly graven:
"For the honor of New Haven"
So my jowls will go unshaven
Till I win or die for Yale.
Harvard Camp Is Serene
The Harvard squad spent this afternoon with the big game only two days away, in a brief workout boning, passing, and kicking at grades. Greep, Crimson star in the pre-Elizabethan drama, was getting his long twisters away beautifully, and averaged from 65 to 70 on some of the longer floaters. Coach Hanford, who is, by the way, a booter of no mean ability himself, was not too well satisfied with the star's showing, remarked: "If we were playing the Law School such grades would be acceptable, but things look tough against an aggregation of freebooters like Yale's team of this year."
A dispatch received at two this morning sent the boys off to bed an hour later in happy mood. The message was a facsimile of that sent to Head Coach Phelps of the Yale team yesterday afternoon by President M. A. Stevens of Yale, and follows:
"My dear Mr. Phelps:
I regret that flagrant cutting on his part of spring football practice has made it necessary for this office to place D. T. Lampwick '28 on probation. It is my sincere hope that the action of this office will exert no moral influence on the remaining members of the squad before the coming encounter. M. A. Stevens."
The message was countersigned by President-emeritus T. A. D. Jones. Lampwick is the Blue's stellar performer with the Anglo-Saxon idiom. "We're just an eensty bit glad," confessed "Speed" Copeland, Crimson draught-kicking mentor.
The Harvard squad is all in good standing with the authorities; in fact, President William J. Bingham has already ordered his customary seat for the big clash in section 46, row ZZ, where as he says: "I can watch my boys, as well as take panorama pictures for the home office."
The officials will be easily distinguishable upon the field of play. R. U. M. Whortleberry, graduate student in the Cornell School of Dentistry, who is an expert at the noisy collection of superfluous bluebooks, will beam happily at any question and bring in the ink, Q. Caboose, graduate student from N. Y. U. who hates undergraduates, will wear pince-nez glasses and a soiled collar. And Johan Wisteria, former student of the drama at Yale, the Tubercular Cough in several plays by Eugene O'Neill, will be identified by his stage whisper and his inability to diagnose approaching rupture until it has been carefully explained.
Coach Hibben of Princeton, who will cover the game for the advertisers in the Harvard Lampoon, when questioned by reporters regarding the game, said: "I see no reason for the odds being 5 to 1 on the Harvards, for in a game like this it is always possible for the metrical breaks to decide victory. It looks like a swell clash. May the best team win." E. P. B. G. A. W.