When we quit the corn-field battle,

And put on our Sunday clothes,

Susan milks the female cattle,

Then into the parlor goes.

We've no tickets, like a circus,

And then wait about an hour;

No, a little hug won't hurt us,

Nor a sweet kiss make us sour.

Then, when you get to squeezin' 'em!

I tell you that is bliss;

O say! where is Elysium!

'T is this! 't is surely this!

In our mind's eye we can see the Delaware swell, making his P. P. C. after the above-mentioned interview, and blighting the hopes of rival swains with a lavish display of "call cards, tinted rep, rose, lavender, stone, canary, or Nile green!"

THE University Herald satisfactorily disposes of the drama in a single column. Supporting its theory with liberal quotations from ancient authors of unquestioned merit, it concludes that the influence of the stage is thoroughly pernicious. The article is excellent in its way; but if its author had shown some practical acquaintance with his subject, his arguments would have been more convincing; and if he proposes to pursue the matter further, we should suggest a visit to some locality where facilities for the observation of theatrical affairs are afforded. - An amusing attempt at epigram occurs in the same paper. Some youth, in the enthusiasm consequent upon introduction to the first principles of mechanics, has been struck with the idea that "human life is an effect, the resultant of forces acting from within and without."

THE latest feature of the chromo gift business comes from Dexter, Me. They have a church there which gives a chromo to every new convert. - Ex.

A JUNIOR thinks that there are periods in a college life when a fellow feels like translating Alma Mater as Mother-in-law." - Ex.

A BURR OAK young lady entered a drug-store lately, and wanted to see the papers for a week back, and the intelligent clerk showed her a roll of sticking-plaster. - Tyro.