Even though it’s only the second week of school, sections are already underway, and the semester is in full swing! That first section week can be a trying time of adjustment, as new dynamics and social norms are established, and section kids emerge after a summer of hibernation.

Here’s Flyby’s breakdown of the kids that you will meet in your section this semester:

1. The Section Kid™

The apex predator of the section ecosystem, the classic section kid measures their self-worth in raised hands per minute. They genuinely believe their thoughts are so profound that silence is a crime against humanity. They’ve weaponized the word “juxtaposition” and will deploy it at least once every week. If you manage to get a word in edgewise, pray you’ve done the readings — they can smell academic blood and fear from three seats away and WILL go in for the kill to call you out.

2. Just a Chill Guy

The sweetest golden retriever of section participants. Beloved by all, they somehow manage to say exactly the right thing in exactly the right amount of time. Their contributions are not too much, not too little — they are just a perfect gem overall.

3. It ain’t much, but it’s honest work

The true hero of section. When your TF asks everyone to share their thoughts about the reading, and the room falls into silence, this brave soul steps into the breach to break the ice. They might not have the most groundbreaking take, but they’ll take one for the team to fight the awkward silence so the rest of us don’t have to.

4. Can I borrow a pencil?

Harmless in lectures, but a completely different person when group work is mentioned. They haven’t done the reading, they forgot about the assignment, and they don’t even have a pencil. It’s giving group project PTSD from high school, and we’re not here for it.

5. This is a little unrelated, but…

The endless yapper. The master of the humble brag disguised as class participation. The discussion could be about 18th-century French poetry, and suddenly, we’re hearing a twenty-minute monologue about their “totally relevant” and transformative summer as an intern at Goldman Sachs, where they “learned so much about human nature,” just like, you know, Voltaire said.

6. The Devil’s Advocate

The final boss of section. This person has never met an opinion they couldn’t oppose, a consensus they couldn’t shatter, or a flow they couldn’t stop. They preface every bad opinion with “I’m just playing devil’s advocate, but…” as if that absolves them of responsibility for their terrible take. There’s no need to be an antagonist constantly; for our sake, please just go to therapy.