{shortcode-e5a157b86addfeb4d1bec855ce45c21a5aebdded} As I walk through the Yard every day, I can’t help but stop and take a second to be grateful for the fact that I get to be a student here for the next four years. But as I take in the grandeur of Widener Library or admire how the sun peeks through the trees, signaling that spring is finally near, my happy-go-lucky bubble bursts. The reason is simple: tourists.

You know, the ones who unknowingly snap photos of you looking at your worst as you sprint to the section you’re even more late for because of their slow gait, or the ones who peek into your windows to take a picture of the dorms. Whether we like it or not, tourists are here to stay, so what better way to get to know them than cosplay as one for a day! Yup, you read that correctly — I voluntarily subjected myself to doing all the things you may make fun of tourists for. I hope you all can finish reading this article without feeling too much secondhand embarrassment <3.

STEP ONE: The Costume

The first step to successfully cosplaying as a tourist is the attire, so you just know that I had to break out the Harvard sweatshirt I bought at the COOP during Visitas. I have, surprisingly, not worn it since, so I really had to dig through the bins of clothes under my bed to commit to the bit.

Once I had finally found the crimson treasure, I decided to pair it with jeans and my black sambas to make it a more casual outfit. While some of you readers may be mad at me for not dressing in crimson from head to toe, just understand that unless you wanted me to borrow my 5’ 2” friend’s Harvard Athletics trousers (I’m 5’ 8”) and force my shins to freeze or buy overpriced pants at the COOP, this was the best I could do.

STEP TWO: The Yard Photoshoot

As a Pennypacker resident, I can fortunately say that I have never seen a tourist visit any of the off-Yard dorms. I find joy in knowing that they don’t know Pennypacker, Greenough, or Hurlbut exist because once I leave the Yard, I can let my guard down.

However, for this social experiment, I knew I had to spend all of my day in the Yard to fully understand the quintessential tourist experience. This meant that I had to take a picture in front of Widener (see below) and then go inside and ask the security guard if he could let me inside the building because I had “forgotten my ID” and was “definitely a student” (wink wink). Unfortunately, this tactic that I’ve seen employed by many tourists did not work, and I was forced to retreat back into the cold feeling as defeated as the tourists who try to sneak in feel.

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To make myself feel better, I did what any tourist would do and took some pictures in front of Memorial Church (see below, also). This helped a little until a friend of mine spotted me and gave me the side-eye, mouthing “What are you doing?” at me. That was when I decided to call it a night and leave the Yard.

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STEP THREE: The Tour

After going on a self-guided tour of the Yard, I decided to walk around Harvard Square until I spotted a tour group and could sneakily join at the back. I thought this would be a bit challenging, but I kid you not, all I had to do was exit the gates to spot a group next to Clover Food Lab (see below).

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As I walked over to the back of the group, I returned some awkward smiles to the overly happy tourists, who seemed excited that another tourist was joining to get the low down on the importance of Harvard Square. But after walking with the group for a few minutes, I realized that we were going directly to the person I least wanted to see that day: John Harvard. In a panicked frenzy, I phoned a friend at Cabot and begged (and bribed her with Trader Joe’s snacks) to meet me at the statue for moral and emotional support, which leads us to the next section…

STEP FOUR: John Harvard’s Foot.

To keep this section as concise as possible, all you need to know is that because of my love for Flyby and its lovely readers, I touched the foot. And before you ask, yes, my friend forced me to get a picture with good ol’ Johnnie boy (see below), and yes, I washed my hands in Cabot immediately after.

Let’s not talk about this ever again, please, and thank you.

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STEP FIVE: Food

As every tourist does, I snuck into Annenberg through the back entrance and tried infiltrating the food lines before a HUDS worker politely asked me to leave. After yet another defeat, I decided to go to Joe’s to pay for an overpriced slice of pizza that I could take a picture of so that all of my Instagram followers would know that I am cool, eating pizza in Harvard Square, in my Harvard merch. (Before you ask, no, I didn’t actually post a picture of my slice to Instagram because if I had, I would have perished right then and there.) #2024protectingmypeace.

So there you have it! The five essential steps to cosplay as a tourist for a day and experience Harvard through a new perspective. Although this experience was a tad embarrassing at times, I have to say that it brought my friend and me closer together as we bonded over my touching John’s foot, so this is an experience that I definitely will never forget. Ever.