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We at Flyby are always (and we mean ALWAYS) interested in new food hitting Harvard Square. So when we saw Union Square Donuts moving in on JFK Street, we knew we had to try some of that sweet doughy goodness. Unfortunately, they “donut” live up to the hype.

We tried a seasonal selection of their donuts, and concluded that they were… not better than Dunkin’. And as one Flyby editor put it, “You have to be better than Dunkin’. Otherwise, people are just going to the Dunkin’ down the street.” Generally, the donuts had a great premise, but underwhelming execution. The donuts themselves were simple, without much flavor or pizzazz. And, like many people wandering the streets of Harvard Square, these donuts seemed interesting at first but, in the end, they’re just white bread.

Here are our thoughts on the individual donuts we tried (but it gets worse as you read on):

Pumpkin Cheesecake Bar

“The pumpkin cream was good, but not pumpkin-y.”

“It was a pleasant experience, but not unique.”

“The cream soaks into the bread, making it softer.”

And surprisingly: “One of the best donuts I’ve ever had, and I don’t even like pumpkin.”

Maple Bacon

“I could taste the bacon, but not the maple.”

“This is a game changer. Maple bacon is something I would never order at a ~donutery~ but I loved this donut. Salty, sugary, fall, scrumptious.”

“This was my No. 1 pick. I love sweet and salty-flavored things. Just like egg and jam sandwiches.” (Rest assured that most of us have never heard of egg and jam sandwiches either.)

“I didn’t try this donut, but maybe we do not so much like this donut as we like bacon. I feel like you could get this elsewhere.” (Maybe HUDS brunch?)

Vegan Chai

“I didn’t know it was vegan. It was very moist and fluffy and soft.”

“Highlight! I didn’t even know it was vegan. Delicious.”

Vegan Pumpkin Spice Latte

“Very moist and soft. Very spicy. Vegan = yum.”

Peanut Butter Cup

“The redeeming factor of this place. This donut was almost incredible. It needed more chocolate. I like this one.”

“Not really sure if I ate this one. Pretty sure there was some peanut butter. It kind of tasted like peanut butter.”

Brown Butter Hazelnut Crunch

“What did you say the flavor was? I didn’t taste anything. It was just sweet. I enjoy sweet, but I wanted complexity to those flavors.”

Candied Apple

“It’s not particularly special.”

“I was expecting more from the glaze, but it’s just sugar.”

“The glaze was burned. I had no idea it was candied apple flavored.”

“I like the filling; that part tastes like apples. The donut is kind of just there.”

“Very fall!”

Spicy Hot Cocoa

“I thought it was interesting as a concept. I feel like all the dough was the same. Not enough cocoa, too much spice. Interesting experience.”

“I just didn’t like it.”

Fall Sprinkles

“I’ve always been a sprinkles girly. But I was underwhelmed.”

“It’s fighting an uphill battle because you are gonna compare it to the Dunkin’ donut.”

“It’s not even half as good as the Dunkin’ sprinkles donut.”

“I’d rather smell these flavors from a distance. I don’t really want to eat them.”

Sea Salt Whisky Caramel

“Unfortunately not whisky flavored enough. Too salty. Disgusting.

“I couldn’t really taste anything. I thought it was a plain donut.”

“It’s basically a bagel.”

Finally, a Philosophical Discussion on the Platonic Ideal of a Donut:

“What makes a good donut? Does it have to align with the flavors in its title, or does it just have to taste good?”

“As a native New Englander, I am biased. Donuts are not supposed to be fancy. You eat donuts when you want to eat cake, but you feel bad eating cake in the middle of the day. These donuts are flying too close to the sun. But the flavors are creative and innovative. These should be cupcakes or cookies.”

“There are multiple factors to good donuts. Flavor, quality of dough, texture. At least one of these should be present. But most of these donuts failed across the board.”

tl;dr: Dunkin’s donuts are less than $2 each, and even cheaper when you buy a lot of them. Just saying.