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Good morning to all who celebrate!

The beauty of a new-found Harvard day lies in the breadth of possibilities of your first waking hours. For some, mornings are peacefully filled with chirping birds in Lowell courtyard amidst a sky of changing colors. For others, the first few hours of the day are best associated with the sweet sound of the Currier fire alarm or a chorus of concrete construction (hello Adams).

With a nonexistent bedtime and an alarm that is starting to feel more and more optional, hope for a college circadian rhythm may seem lost. So whether you’re typically chained to the tables of Lamont basement until the wee hours of the morning or are craving the stamina of your former 6-a.m.-rising high school self, this flyby how-to should help increase your chances of making it to hot (or cold) breakfast.

Leave your shades up and curtains open

Blackout shades are incredible, but quite literally the antithesis of what you need for an early morning wake up. Following our technique may force you into becoming an early bird as there’s no place to hide from those sun rays… or your neighbors.

Make your alarm #fun

Sick of Apple’s By The Seaside or Radar (Default) alarm ringtones? Me too. Make Your Wakeup Fun AgainTM by downloading the Hannah Montana theme song. Blast good ol’ Eminem “Till I Collapse” or “Lose Yourself” to electrify your morning. Stroll to class with “Walking On Sunshine” or “Lovely Day” to romanticize your a.m… (heard it helps quell your persistent RBF).

Abuse the buddy system and/or befriend an athlete.

Do you have a friend or a mere acquaintance who is a varsity athlete? Great! Use this to your absolute advantage by creating a morning wakeup ~buddy system~. Do they have a mandatory 7 a.m. conditioning? Great — call me at 6:59! 6:00 a.m. practice? Perfect. Personally, come wake me up at 8:30, please.

Lure yourself out of bed with the thought of discounted coffee

Here’s your tentative schedule… Monday: Free Dunkin’ medium hot or iced coffee with any purchase. Tuesday: a free small coffee at Harvard Art Museums Cafe. Wednesday: splurge at Blue Bottle. Thursday: BOGO 50-percent-off Starbucks. Friday: convince yourself dhall coffee will suffice.

Sign yourself up for a workout class

What’s the best way to shoot out of bed as soon as your alarm sounds? The dread which comes from possibly missing the absurdly priced workout class you signed yourself up for in a state of overwhelming optimism. Run.

You, before reading this article: “Every morning is a fight against myself, and I lose every time.”

You, after indulging in this work of elite journalism: as much of a morning person as the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed freshman in your 9 a.m. section. You're welcome.