{shortcode-6b21657c94857bb66f18ba9f2aefa34b1c14c650}Whether it’s one of the many pre professional clubs you’ve attempted to join this semester, the internship you’re trying to secure for next summer (next year???), or even the Harvard College Wine Society (tbh idk if they actually reject people, but they do have refined taste), I just KNOW you’ve had at least one email along these lines pop up in your inbox:

“While we were very impressed with your application and qualifications, we regret to inform you that we cannot offer you [insert position here] at this time. We hope you’ll consider applying for this position again in the future and wish you luck in your future endeavors”

Tough.

But I feel you. Getting this email is just annoying.

Because Dear-Everything-That-I’ve-Been-Rejected-From-Ever, I wish you would be honest and just say it: “We didn’t want YOU so too bad” or “Sorry you suck be BETTER” instead of hitting me with more polite euphemisms than a Harvard admin delivering bad news. Because do you?? Do you really wish me luck in my future endeavors? And if you were so impressed with my qualifications, why didn’t you just give me the job?? And listen, I know I’m qualified. I’m SO qualified. In fact, I took LS1a.*

*Note from the editor: the writer in question did not actually take LS1a #explainsalot

So for all of you that have been in these shoes, next time you get hit with one of these emails, 1) don’t give up because, as your mother tells you, you ARE a star, and 2) keep reading for an effective way to respond to your rejection letter. Because maybe they didn’t want you (#rude), but you still deserve the chance to hit them with a spicy reply and mic-drop moment before you make peace with the fact that you will, regretfully, not be part of a Particular College Consulting Group this semester.

Email template:

Dear Person Reading This Email,

While I am very not impressed with this copy-pasta email you sent me and the fact that you didn’t want me (because I’m pretty cool), I regret to inform you that I will be pretending that I never got this email. Because I didn’t think it was very nice. And also, as I said, I’m pretty cool. I took LS1a.

It’s too bad for you that you don’t want me to join your org, because now you’ll never know my quirky icebreaker fact that I took three hours to come up with. It’s also too bad for me because I’ll never have the chance to learn exactly what Consulting/Finance/Wine is. But that’s also fine I guess because you just shamed inspired me to remember that nonprofit I started in high school for my college application for the good of society, and now I’m going to be a better person right after my next punch event.

All this being said, I still don’t like rejection and I’m giving you one more chance to take me back. Otherwise, I will be very sad. For what it’s worth, my mom agrees with me and thinks I deserve this job too.

Yours in unhappiness,

*Insert name here*

I have no data to back up this claim, but I can guarantee that this email reply will win over at least a few of the cold-hearted people who rejected you. However, I cannot be held responsible for whatever happens to you when you decide to send this email, so, in the rare occurrence of a blocking, roasting, or permanent blacklisting, you’re on your own.

In all seriousness, rejection SUCKS. And getting an impersonal rejection email sucks even more. Just know that as hard as it seems to believe sometimes, there is a club, group, or internship out there that is the right fit for you! Rejection happens to all of us, but remember to keep your head up and not take it too personally — you are a star, and it’s not just your mom telling you that, it’s a Flyby Blog guarantee, too <3