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We know that things are pretty confusing first-year fall. That’s why we’re here to give you the wisdom we wish we had. Pay attention, people; this content could make or break your year.

Wandering around the Yard does NOT count as “going out.”

Don’t worry, it gets better. Or we at least have to hope it does.

That party in Canaday WILL get busted.

Beware the ever-dreaded “proc-knock.”

Don’t date your First Chance Dance makeout.

Do not let your initial mistakes dictate your whole freshman year. What happens in the Northwest basement should stay there.

No one cares that you were valedictorian.

So stop dropping it “discreetly” into conversation.

LamCaf is for flirting, not working.

If the cute sophomore from math wants to pset in LamCaf, it’s a date.

You will get cut from HCCG.

But not all hope is lost—comp Flyby!

Your high school friend's Instagrams look like they're having way more fun than they actually are.

Never trust social media. No one has a raging social life at the beginning of freshman year.

Don't do homework for your freshman seminar.

There will be plenty of opportunities to be a try-hard later. We promise.

Your roommate is not paying you back for the fridge…

...or the microwave, for that fact. 

Never go to Annenberg between 11:45 and 12 pm.

Or after Ec10.

Print this out and tape it to your door. Do whatever you need to do to impress these difficult messages upon yourself.