We all remember scrolling through the online HUDS menu as wide-eyed pre-frosh and marvelling at the mouthwatering menu items (crumbled bleu cheese anyone?). Lack of parental supervision (hello two plates of sweet potato fries!) and free flowing soft-serve ice cream make Harvard dining halls seem like the last word in fine dining. However, after months—and years—of the same dhall food, we find ourselves eating in the Square often and craving home-cooked meals. To rekindle our interest in their offerings, HUDS seems to have stepped up their game recently by not only refreshing Annenberg’s decor but also the names of their menu items, and the results are...well, interesting. Here are the most hip (read: bizarre) HUDS menu item names:

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Deconstructed Sloppy Joes
To keep up with funky-fresh trends HUDS decided to add some hipster spunk to an already ridiculously named dish. Does our deconstructed Sloppy Joe come with a side of ~minimalist~ tater tots? Sorry HUDS, but if we hungered for mediocre against-the-mainstream food, we’d just go to Clover.

Crimson Vegan Chili
Although we may be biased when it comes to our namesake dish, Crimson chili has a more enticing ring to it than “semi-secret Sorrento Square social organization that used to occasionally publish a so-called humor magazine” chili.

Grilled All Beef Old Neighborhood Hot Dog
What was HUDS trying to relay in this lengthy name for a simple sausage? That they took concision lessons from Dean Khurana?

Harvard Granola and Harvard Fruit Salad
Your resume isn’t the only thing the Harvard name can sweeten up. Apparently, HUDS will even slap the brand on its health foods, perhaps in an effort to make them seem more erudite and appealing.

Vodka Sauce
(WARNING: does NOT contain alcohol) Is HUDS attempting to make dining halls better social spaces by trying to trick us into pregaming in the dhall?

Freekeh Salad
Freekeh is an obscure grain we had to look up, but its obscurity isn’t exactly making us want to get “freekeh” with it. We’ll stick to tried-and-true Grill orders, thank you very much.

Next time, maybe HUDS should leave the naming to their fake twitter account.