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Anywhere from a fifth to a quarter of Harvard students graduate virgins depending on the year, but we still get really excited about sex. Talking about it, researching it, writing theses on it. But if we’re being honest, some of us leave many things to be desired when we actually, you know, do it. Raise your hand if you’ve had at least one of your partners at Harvard look at you begrudgingly after a raunchy night.

Lucky for you, Harvard’s seventh Annual Sex Week starts today. Featuring 12 events, Sex Week is dedicated to educating you and encouraging more open conversations on sex, relationships, sexual health, sexuality, gender and gender identity, and more. You know how you came to Harvard lacking social skills to a (very high) degree since you spent all of high school busily not having fun? Now is your chance to teach and unclothe the beast within.

Frisky Fun for Everyone

Sex Week prides itself on inclusivity and tackling a variety of topics in a steamy fashion. For all you overwhelmed STEM people, especially you poor (and soon-to-be-rich) engineers, there is an entire event dedicated to you called “Hacking Your Sex Life: What Happens When Engineers Get Frisky.” Events like “What What in the Butt: Anal 101” and “Unleashed: Kink 101” tackle taboo topics in an approachable way with the hopes of widening conversations around sex.

In addition to these playful events, Sex Week recognizes and brings light to intersectional issues of sex. Has anyone ever had the audacity to call you exotic or something along those lines because of your race or ethnicity? If so, be sure to check out the Exotification, Sex, and Race session, where a panel of students talk about their experiences.

Vibrators, Dildos, and Condoms. Oh My!

There’s a record number of freebies slated to appear throughout the week. So if you’ve been eyeing an expensive toy in everyone’s favorite Square sex shop, Good Vibrations, never fear! And, if you just haven’t been getting the human attention you need down there, again, never fear! You can pleasure yourself and save yourself the embarrassment of the receipt showing up on your bank account by perhaps snagging a toy from one of these events.

And of course, condoms will be in abundance. Female and male, colored and ribbed, flavored and scented. Grab one, grab all.

“We have the most amazing corporate partners,” Lita Pena ’19, the co-president of Sexual Health Education and Advocacy Throughout Harvard (SHEATH) said. “We got thousands of toys. We have vibrators, dildos, things for both anatomies, things for multiple people, and really anything you can imagine, we’ve got.”

A Bit About the Sexy Sponsors

Founded in 2011, SHEATH is designed to promote a safe, inclusive space for Harvard students to get educated and talk about sex, especially since we don’t have enough time to do it much (if at all).

While discussing sex can be an uncomfortable prospect, Pena emphasized that “there’s really no reason for it to be stigmatized.” The wide range of scheduled activities, which will hopefully overlap with your and your friends’ limited free time, aim to give people “new hopes, and new understandings” in their sexual lives.

Food in the Bedroom

If you can’t persuade a friend to go for the insane freebies bestowed upon us this week, just remind them that there will also be an abundance of things to put in your mouth. We’re talkin hella free food (get your head out of the gutter!), including cupcakes that look like vaginas (okay, head back in the gutter…).

Slide into these events, and get your education on! Thank us later.

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