UPDATED: April 15, 2015, at 11:58 a.m.
In what the group is calling "Harvard Heat Week," which began on April 12, Divest Harvard has been protesting outside of University President Drew G. Faust’s office. As a result, Faust and other administrators have not been able to get into their offices. Here are five ways, courtesy of Flyby, that President Faust can get into her office and get back to her very important business:
- Secret tunnels - We all know Harvard has these (or, at the very least, Faust would have been smart to have them constructed after the protesting last year).Grab some earplugs, hit up the secret tunnels, and cackle away at your desk while you see (but don’t hear) the protesters outside.
- Dress in orange and tell everyone that she’s a junior - How many people actually know what President Faust looks like? If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em (just long enough that they forget you’re there and you can sneak in the back door).
- Divest from fossil fuels - Obviously there’s a debate to be had, but if President Faust really just want to get this protest over with as soon as possible...
- Tell the protesters that she forgot her cell phone - “Oh, guys. I’ll be right out. I need to make some phone calls about having more open dialogue about this issue… … Suckers.”
- Just walk right in - Call their bluff. What are the chances that these protesters, who are mostly undergrads and probably want to graduate from Harvard, actually physically prevent anyone from entering Mass. Hall? Let them protest, but assert your dominance, President Faust.
Of course, Divest Harvard has every right to protest this week, and we’re glad to see students speaking up for what they believe in (read: don’t be mad at us for making a joke about you). But come on, President Faust, don’t let these kids keep you out of your office.
This article has been revised to reflect the following correction:
CORRECTION: April 15, 2015
An earlier version of this article incorrectly stated the date of the first day of Divest Harvard's "Heat Week." In fact, it began on April 12, not April 13.