Welcome back to “Listen Up!” Flyby’s advice column written by two uniquely unqualified, naïve, decidedly uninteresting sophomores from various places in and around 14 Plympton Street.

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When Abigail K. Fiedler ’15 and Lynn Miao ’16, our wonderful Flyby Blog Editors, approached us about writing a special Housing Day-themed column, we were absolutely excited about the opportunity. After all, writing about Housing Day (or at least inserting the phrase “Housing Day” as many times as you can in an article) seems to be the perfect way to really boost your readership.

So in honor of Housing Day, we humbly present the Housing Day edition of Listen Up! in which we address all of your housing-related questions and concerns. As always, don’t forget to submit your questions here. We’re waiting (in Adams House, inarguably the best house on campus).

*Note: Just as with last week’s post, each of these questions is very real, as troubling as that may be.

Should I hook up with my roommate? My mom says no, but I'm not so sure.
First of all, we envy your ability to be that open with your mother. If either of us asked our respective moms about advice on hooking up with people, our credit cards would be revoked and we would be forced on the first flight back home.

In our opinion, a better way to phrase your question is: “should I ruin my college life forever by giving into my carnal urges?”

Based on extensive evidence from our real life experience—by which we mean the “real life experience” of binge viewing episodes of Friends and How I Met Your Mother—this proposition will just work out badly for all involved. Do you really want to be distracted by an awkward rooming situation going into finals week?

Oh sure, you say there’s a certain level of convenience that comes with this territory, but seriously? You’re so lazy that you can’t venture outside your own room to satisfy your “needs”? Please, we can’t even believe you had the willpower to click on the link and type out a coherent question.

Don’t be lazy. Listen to your mother. She’s always right.

Hey, don't qriticize Quincy House ever again. I know your Adams arrogance knows no bounds, but a little restraint would be appropriate... - A Qoncerned Qid
Oh, how Qute, you replaced all the hard “c” sounds with the letter Q.

No. Just no. We’re sorry, Pfhorseimer(sp???) House is the only House allowed to House-ify words. Pforce Pfield. Skypfall. Pfalapfel. Let’s try that with Quincy. Qomputer. Qrepes. Qitty Qat. Nope, not the same. It’s unfortunate that penguins are attempting to copy the methods of their North Pole counterparts, the polar bears. It’s just bad form.

Your question gets us a little riled up, so we’re going to end by answering another question: do we want to live in Quincy?