It’s now obvious why Mark E. Zuckerberg '06 stole The Facebook. He did it so that 500 million people could watch his Public Display of Affection toward his 'friend', Priscilla Chan '07.

“I met an amazing girl on this day exactly 11 years ago,” he posted to his Facebook, while he presumably sat next to her. Didn’t you learn anything from Taylor Swift’s new music video? This is millennial romance. (We used the word millennial, finally! What a millennial dream).

We can only imagine what the Winklevii’s tribute to each other might have looked like: pictures of them at the boathouse, in the PC bike room, and posing in a lake.

Mark, it’s never too late to come back and take a class on video editing. Section sizes might be getting smaller. Innovation!