Sex, drunks, guidos! The new episode of “On Harvard Time” has it all. Initially, we were confused by the decision to devote the first third of the show to the search for a new anchor. But after this deviation from their normal script, the show turned to its regular formula.

Here are some of our favorite moments:

-After a record-breaking number of freshman class visits to UHS for alcohol poisoning, the Drug and Alcohol Peers Advisors’ new water bottle statistics aren’t quite what you would expect. For example, “2 handles of vodka on Wednesday nights” is the new recommended amount.

-"Johnny Harvard" is the “the original JWOWW,” according to “Vinny Guadagnino” of MTV’s "Jersey Shore," who originally might have been a Harvard Law School applicant?

-“At MIT sex is like absolute zero, it exists in theory, but we don’t know how to reach it using the equipment we have," says the first of “MIT student” David Brescia’s string of nerdy sex jokes. Compared to the results of a recent Yale poll, this makes us feel much better.