John Edwards is Not in Exile, and is Still Talking About Poverty (Brown)

We didn't think John Edwards was still in the spotlight--but yesterday he spoke to a crowded lecture hall of Brown students, calling them to view global poverty not as an economic problem, but "a moral issue."  While we at Flyby would like to endorse the alleviation of world poverty, his choice to lecture on morality is slightly ironic. (Yes we are going to make the obligatory John Edwards joke: it was a late night for FlyBy so if you have a problem with that you can step off...or comment below.)  In any case, leaving one's cancer-stricken wife for a fling is morally questionable--and FlyBy's not sure morality even comes into play when that fling is a crazy New Age believer.  Perhaps because Edwards enjoys it when ladies stroke his ego.

In the meantime, Edwards may become a cosmopolitan human rights activist.  He told the Brown Daily Herald in an interview that he has already been to Haiti:

I want to spend my life working on the core issue that I'm most passionate about, which is helping the poor, and that means both dealing with poverty in America and addressing the issue worldwide.

In December I spent some time in Haiti working in the slums outside of Port-au-Prince, or in Port-au-Prince actually. Cities like Cite Soleil. These are the kinds of things I care the most about and I want to focus on.

We'll be watching your search for redemption suspiciously, Jedwards.  But hope is not lost yet.

More, including a gunman and a special guest appearance by Chuck Norris, after the jump.

Administration Slow To Inform Students of Armed Gunman (Princeton)

Apparently it took 80 minutes for Princeton's administration to send out campus-wide alerts that there was a gunman on campus.  Although nothing actually happened, it did send the insular little Jersey town into a panic.  The incident raises the question of whether Harvard's text message system will actually work in the event of an emergency, but hell, FlyBy likes Drew Faust's odds against a gunman any day.  She'll be serving up a real nasty Republic of Suffering for you, wretched gun-bearer.  Just try it.

Boys Should Not Be Disappointed by Selection of Princeton Girls, Since They Themselves are Disappointing (Princeton)

An irritated sophomore girl writes an op-ed about how she is tired of hearing Princeton boys disparage the appearances of girls at Princeton, since looks are not everything--and they are being hypocritical.  If people must judge each other based on appearances, there should at least be gender equity:

My biggest grievance, personally, is that no one considers the flip side. While I have occasionally heard a stray Princeton girl or guy complain about a perceived lack of handsome men, I think I can count the number of times on one hand — while I’d need all the hands of the students in my Developmental Psych lecture (hint: it’s held in Friend 101, and people sit on the floor) to tally up the opposite grievance. What makes the boys think they’re any better than we are?  Somehow — maybe not surprisingly — female attractiveness has been put under the microscope far more. Is the fairer sex more forgiving, or are boys here more attractive than girls? Or does it just not matter as much?

Think about it, guys. And next time you’re tempted to bemoan the state of Ivy League ladies’ appearances, take a good hard look not only in the mirror, but at the stereotypes involved.

Granted, the "Prince" is slowly getting better.  Now they just need to take that bold final move and decide whether to employ a real Sexpert, or continue to leave the awkward task to Princeton's UHS officials.

RANDOM ASIDE: One Endowment that Will Never Shrink (The University of Chuck Norris)

If Texas secedes from the Union, Chuck Norris has declared his interest in becoming Texas' first president.

Since he enjoys name recognition across the state, and his ranger spirit mirrors that of the Texas, the idea is probably not out of the question.  For that matter, he would probably also take over the University of Texas at Austin and name the university after himself.  But one things certain: this man won't need any stimulus for his endowment.  (Cue laugh track.)

University Actually Announces Staff Lay-offs (Yale)

First, Yale officials openly announced that they would be laying off up to 300 staffers; now, they are admitting more...the additional cuts coming at their School of Management.  At Harvard, on the other hand, staffers are faced with the specter of lay-offs--but administrators have coyly maintained that lay-offs are just one option on the table. Okay administration, thanks for the assurance.  With Harvard's endowment in worse shape than Yale's, we're not so sure.