To figure this one out we decided we would do what we did for the Princeton-Columbia game last week. We took to Google and simply asked, “In a fight, would a Quaker or a Bear win.” While the results were inconclusive, we did find a great video with the title of “Quaker Mascot Flirting with Brown Bear.” Definitely worth a watch if you literally have nothing better to do. Not really, actually.

While we don’t think romance will blossom on the court on Friday, we do think your typical Quaker would be mauled by a Brown Bear.

Pick: Brown

PRINCETON AT YALE

There’s a lot to say here. Princeton rolls in undefeated, but up until last Saturday, Yale hadn’t lost a game at home in nearly two years. The Tigers are likely one of the most experienced teams in the conference while the Bulldogs are a combination of veteran and underclassman talent. Princeton is probably still pretty bummed about choking against Harvard last season. The list goes on and on.

While we didn’t bother checking whether a Bulldog stands a chance against a Tiger, we did find a list of ten things you should never say to a friend with a Bulldog. Number one was simply “Bulldog’s have a face only a mother could love.”

The same could be said of Yalies, but perhaps all that resentment could boil over on Friday night.

Pick: Yale

COLUMBIA AT DARTMOUTH

Maybe the king of the jungle will emerge from its Light Blue phase on Saturday.

Pick: Columbia

PRINCETON AT BROWN

A headline from the Daily Princetonian earlier this month read as follows: They hate us ‘cause they ain’t us.

We’re struggling to understand why a school whose self attributed fun fact is, “The first-recorded use of the now common understanding of the word campus, in 1774, was generally attributed to Princeton’s sixth president John Witherspoon,” would think people are jealous of it.

That’s besides the point. There’s no home court advantage when you’re playing in a high school gym.