AROUND THE IVIES: Football Will Now Actually Take Princeton Seriously


We’ve officially hit the midway point of the 2016 season. From here on out, it’s all Ivy League games, all the time.

On one hand, it’s going to be nice to see some rivalry games soon, especially the most storied rivalry in the entire league: Columbia-Cornell. Wait, you were going to say Harvard-Yale? Fair, but that matchup crosses state lines, and the teams’ names don’t form an alliteration. See? Not as exciting.

On the other hand, it’s a little bit daunting that there are so few Ivy League games left, because I have to write the same number of words, but now there are only four games to write about. So many thoughts to put down into writing, so little time. One small step for man, one giant leap for a certain Crimson sports writer.

Since the season is halfway over, let’s talk about a few “halves.” First and foremost, you only have half a season left of having to read my and my two co-writers’ work. The end is mercifully in sight.


Secondly, is it just me, or does it seem like every Ivy League school’s band is only half a band? I’m not just talking about the number of performers, because that much is easy to see. I’m talking about the quality of the music, too. It’s like they forget to bring half the band’s members, and those forgotten musicians just so happen to be the most talented of the bunch, so both the choice in what to play, and the performace itself, are less than par. Despite the bands’ collective struggles, they still seem really enthusiastic trying to organize themselves into shapes or words during their halftime shows. Even after half a season, I think Harvard’s band might still be perfecting the “H” formation. You’ll get it next week, guys!

Let’s transition to TV. “The Office” is a staple of any Netflix connoisseur’s lineup, and it has a multitude of Ivy League connections. For those unfamiliar with this masterpiece, Harvard notables B. J. Novak, Mindy Kaling, and Rashida Jones all play key characters. Also, Ed Helms plays Andy Bernard, an eccentric, angry Cornell grad who is obsessed with his alma mater.

How is “The Office” relevant to Ivy League football, you ask? Well, as we were saying about midway points, this show reaches its pinnacle about halfway through its nine seasons. From there on, it is still an elite series, but it is never the same after Michael Scott leaves for Colorado. Was Harvard’s loss to Holy Cross last week a sign of a similar decline to come? Tune in this Saturday to find out for yourself.

Now that I think about it, that whole intro might not have been as witty as I thought it was. But as Bill Belichick would say, “We’re on to the predictions.”


Yale is only 1-2 in home games this year. One possible explanation is that the home crowd is not much of a crowd in the vast wasteland that is the Yale Bowl. Its seating capacity seems to be somewhere in the millions, and attendance is only a few thousand per game. Maybe be a little self-aware when designing your football stadium. Just a thought.

Anyway, mark this down as another home loss for the Bulldogs. Penn, despite a rough start to its 2016 campaign, has picked up the pace recently. The Quakers have won their last three games by a combined 50 points, including a 35-10 drubbing of Columbia last week.

Yale, on the other hand, has lost four out of five to start off. However, the Bulldogs beat Dartmouth, 21-13, so maybe this won’t be a blowout.

Interestingly, both of these teams have lost to Lehigh and Fordham this season.

Prediction: Penn 27, Yale 21


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