Pick: Yale

DARTMOUTH at PENN

The Quakers’ first Ivy League contest of the year was fitting. Up 15 at archrival Princeton, Penn blew its best chance at ending a six-game road losing streak to the pesky Tigers. For a team that finished in the top three eight consecutive times at the beginning of the century, the Quakers’ quick fall from grace makes Lindsay Lohan’s twenties look gradual by comparison.

However, Penn snapped a 12-game losing streak to Big Five opponents Sunday with a win over St. Joe’s, prompting The Daily Pennsylvanian columnist Riley Steele to note that “it’s hard not to feel some sort of positive emotion”. If Penn wins again here, ol’ Riles might even approach what the rest of us call ‘excitement’.

Pick: Dartmouth

HARVARD at PRINCETON

Since 2009, neither of these teams has finished worse than third in conference play. The two do it in different sides of the floor; watching Princeton’s beautiful cutting offense attack the suffocating Crimson defense is basketball at its best. Last year, Harvard won in Jadwin Arena for the first time in a quarter century despite the efforts of Spencer Weisz, who had 12 points and seven rebounds. The sophomore, who leads Princeton in scoring this year with 13.1 points a game, will look to join a history of successful Princeton guards with a history of beating up on the Crimson. In fact, many of this legion, including David Blatt, John Thompson III, and New York Knicks GM Steve Mills, have gone on to have very successful basketball careers post-graduation.

Well, scratch that last one.

Pick: Harvard.

BROWN at COLUMBIA

I expect roughly the same things from this game and this weekend's senior class First Chance Dance: a poor two-hour showing of missed chances, poor footwork, and inability to finish that sets the tone for a semester of extended nostalgia and day drinking.

Pick: Columbia

YALE at CORNELL

The stats tell us that this is the conference’s best team going against arguably its top player—Cornell forward Shonn Miller, who leads the league in defensive win shares. Unfortunately for Cornell, the Big Red have had roughly the same amount of success recently defending their home court that Tom had chasing Jerry.

Pick: Yale