CORNELL AT BROWN
Expect the Big Red’s charity tour to continue this week in Providence. And nobody needs it more than Brown. Just when it seemed like things could not get worse after losses to Harvard and Princeton, a squirrel caused a city blackout earlier this week. If the scoreboard was affected, we might not find out during this game between bottom-three offenses. Maybe the squirrel saw this matchup on the schedule and decided electrocution was a more exciting alternative.
Prediction: Brown 22, Cornell 9
HARVARD AT PRINCETON
After two dramatic wins by the Tigers, we’ll find out what type of trilogy this is on Saturday. Will we see the Return of the Jedi, with senior quarterback Conner Hempel returning from injury to seek revenge for the comeback win Princeton pulled off the last time these teams played in New Jersey? Or are the Crimson in for Alien 3, a bad couple hours during which the monsters win? Harvard’s lackluster offense over the last couple weeks does not inspire confidence, nor does the team’s lack of big game experience thus far, but I see the Crimson finding a way to finally top the Tigers.
Prediction: Harvard 38, Princeton 37
DARTMOUTH AT COLUMBIA
If anyone is capable of a hangover loss after winning at least four of its first five games for the first time since I was four years-old, it’s Darty. But against the Lions, I don’t see it happening. The Big Green will roll, and the unfortunate Daily Spectator writers will be sent back to the thesaurus for another synonym for inept. How about execrable? Oh, you used that in 2011?
Prediction: Dartmouth 35, Columbia 6
PENNSYLVANIA AT YALE
The Quakers’ eight-game losing streak was over after they topped Columbia last week. But another one is about to start. It’s too bad Penn fell apart before I could get an elaborate Pennthouse pun into Around the Ivies. Maybe I’ll have a good one revolving around Pennance by the time the Bulldogs score their 40th point Saturday. Maybe not.
Prediction: Yale 51, Penn 17
—Staff writer Jacob D.H. Feldman can be reached at jacob.feldman@thecrimson.com.