PENN (15-11, 7-2) AT DARTMOUTH (5-21, 1-9)

It’s times like these when you really start to hate having Dartmouth as a travel partner. The Crimson could really use a tired, worn-down Quaker team on the second day of Penn’s road trip tomorrow night, but things like that never happen because Harvard’s Saturday opponent always gets to calmly cruise past the Big Green the night before.

I can’t hate on Dartmouth too much, though, as the squad took my inspirational message to heart last week and beat Brown for the sole purpose of helping me nail down another perfect week of picks.

I can see it now: the Big Green sitting around their locker room reading my column before the game, when all of a sudden Jvonte Brooks yells “Scott’s right, we can do this!” as the rest of the players stand up in agreement. Suddenly, Gabas Maldunas comes in and proclaims “THIS...IS...DARTMOUTH!!!!” The squad runs onto the court all fired up, and the rest is history.

I’m proud of you, Dartmouth, and I appreciated the nice thing you did for me.

But, unfortunately, you’re not winning another game this season. Because, let’s be honest, most of the middle school teams that play in the halftime games could beat you guys.

Pick: Penn 69, Dartmouth 62

COLUMBIA (14-12, 3-7) AT YALE (17-7, 7-3)

These teams have basically been polar opposites this year. Despite their conference records, Yale hasn’t really been the much better squad.

Columbia’s seven conference losses this season have come by an average of just four points, and it’s played the big three of Harvard, Yale, and, most recently, Penn extremely well.

But things just haven’t fallen the Lions’ way, as with last Saturday, when the Quakers hit an alley-oop layup at the overtime buzzer. Anytime you get beat by a male named Fran, you know it’s just not your year.

The Bulldogs, on the other hand, are the third luckiest team in the country, according to Ken Pomeroy.

So, sorry Columbia—sometimes it’s just better to be lucky than good.

Pick: Yale 65, Columbia 58

CORNELL (10-14, 5-5) AT BROWN (7-20, 1-9)