('

{shortcode-36ee1773d5f40a2797c13270378e1c187f05f869}Are you left scrambling because it’s Senior Spring and you have no idea how to get into ~the chill zone~? Flyby has your back with these tips to get you started.

\r\n\r\n

Eat Breakfast in Annenberg

\r\n\r\n

Remember how excited you were to see the Great Hall of Harvard? How you felt like you were at Hogwarts and a hundred owls could swoop in at any moment? Maybe after three years, the overwhelming stress of freshman year has faded away, and you can now truly enjoy the magnificence of Annenberg’s architecture and daily hot breakfast. Or at the very least, mentally list reasons why your House dhall is better and avoid making eye contact with all the first-year students.

\r\n\r\n

Reunite With Your First-Year Characters

\r\n\r\n

Revive the overly optimistic vibes of early freshman year and call for a first-year suitemate dinner! How have you all changed or stayed the same? You can also spontaneously reach out to your Annenberg crush and finally ask them if they’d like to grab a meal with you. Or tell your freshman seminar professor that you switched concentrations and show your proctor that you are still a hot mess. #throwbacks

\r\n\r\n

Pull an All-Nighter to Hang Out with Friends Instead of to Study

\r\n\r\n

When was the last time you had an hours-long heart-to-heart with those you love best? In the spirit of senior spring, chuck the laptop and stay up all night talking to your closest friends. You can reflect on your time in college, or maybe even learn new things about each other that have managed to not come up in the past four years. (Like how your roommate never returned that dress she borrowed pre-pandemic.) This is one of your last chances to all be together, so make the most of it!

\r\n\r\n

Do a Reverse River Run

\r\n\r\n

Go to your first-year dorm and take a shot of your favorite non-alcoholic beverage — since the Yard is dry, of course ;). Legend says that drinking in the Yard is a transcendent experience whereby memories of your first year come rushing back. A senior told Maya that when she was a freshman, a group of people showed up at her door and asked if they could come inside to drink (which she politely declined).

\r\n\r\n

Visit Mount Auburn Cemetery

\r\n\r\n

You may be questioning your existence since you handed in your thesis, but what better place to contemplate life than at the Mount Auburn Cemetery? See the intricate gravestones and beautiful scenery (it’s a great bird-watching site, too!), and go to Washington Tower for great views of Cambridge and Boston! You can also pack a lunch and a blanket and make a cute picnic out of it.

\r\n\r\n

Send these ideas to your closest friends and check off as many of these as possible. While the future is uncertain, we hope that you will at least be able to enjoy your senior spring!

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-36ee1773d5f40a2797c13270378e1c187f05f869}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/04/12/214129_1355776.gif', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-8bcf2acc769791ba4fab74268e983fba0ac36492}Do you miss Housing Day? Want to fuel your House pride even more? Here’s my experience sneaking into dining in every single upperclassman dining hall…

\r\n\r\n

The Quad

\r\n\r\n

Quick shoutout to my lovely friends who were willing to trek to the Quad to keep me company.

\r\n\r\n

Cabot

\r\n\r\n

Why is Cabot’s dining hall below Pfoho? This was confusing. The low ceilings and carpeted floors made the space feel a little constricting and outdated, but I liked the windows along the side, allowing light to stream in and brighten up the space.

\r\n\r\n

Currier

\r\n\r\n

Like Cabot, the carpet and low ceilings trend continues. The lack of windows is a little depressing, but the soothing sounds of the fountain in the center of the seating area make up for it. Still, everyone says that Currier has the best food, and I think I actually might agree. The salad selection was popping, and even HUDS classics just tasted more defined and better seasoned.

\r\n\r\n

Pfoho

\r\n\r\n

With slightly outdated chairs, the house plants scattered around the room, and the fact that I went to eat here during Brunch on Junior Family Weekend, I couldn’t help but feel that I was on a family vacation and had entered a hotel breakfast area. I was a little outraged that they only had a regular waffle machine instead of a Veritaffle one, but my excitement over the two-storied room soothed my sadness.

\r\n\r\n

River West

\r\n\r\n

Practicality, good food, and bright interiors combined make for strong dining halls.

\r\n\r\n

Kirkland

\r\n\r\n

Kirkland had chill vibes, with lots of small tables where friends were catching up in pairs or trios and other people were just enjoying a quiet lunch by themselves. I’m also a fan of their infused water and their selection of panini ingredients.

\r\n\r\n

Eliot

\r\n\r\n

In my purely objective opinion of a first-year who has 100% definitely not been sorted into Eliot, this was the best dining hall. The light streaming in from the tall windows, the sriracha aioli on the banh mi, the diverse selection of table types… Chef’s kiss, truly.

\r\n\r\n

Winthrop

\r\n\r\n

Before this, the only time I had been into Winthrop Dining Hall was during CS Night from 8 to 10 p.m. on Wednesday, and let me just tell you that it is a completely different experience during the day. The servery felt so clean and modern and was playing absolute bops, and I loved the sunlight streaming through the windows. Now I get why everyone wants to be put in Winthrop.

\r\n\r\n

River East

\r\n\r\n

The extra distance is worth it for the beautiful dining halls.

\r\n\r\n

Leverett

\r\n\r\n

Eating in Lev feels like you are sitting inside of a wedding cake, with the rich white color of the entire interior, the gorgeous chandeliers, and the intricate trim. Still, what you gain in elegance, you sacrifice in flexibility in dining. Leverett notoriously has strict interhouse dining restrictions, and it took a lot of convincing for me to not feel its wrath.

\r\n\r\n

Mather

\r\n\r\n

Mather’s interior is CONFUSING. I completely entered the dining hall from the wrong side and did not realize until I exited that there was an actual entrance. Still, I really enjoyed this dining hall. The servery was streamlined, but my favorite part was the strong sense of community. The dining room had a distinct energy, and it seemed like lots of friends were randomly meeting up here and calling out to each other across the room, like one big family.

\r\n\r\n

Dunster

\r\n\r\n

I am in love with Dunster’s dining hall. Especially during the day, it is beautiful to see the sun streaming in. The servery also felt clean and spacious, although the drinks and dessert section felt a little random. Don’t forget about the handwashing station!

\r\n\r\n

The Square

\r\n\r\n

Large, bustling dining halls with very distinct personalities.

\r\n\r\n

Lowell

\r\n\r\n

I’m not sure how I feel about the yellow walls: it makes you happy at first, but gets old fast. The servery area felt a little cramped, but the high ceilings make the space seem airy. The place was lively; everyone in Lowell seemed to be eating there, making it a challenge to find open seating, but a big victory once we did.

\r\n\r\n

Quincy

\r\n\r\n

The people’s house. This was probably the house that I felt the least scared about swiping into. I came for the famous Quincy Hot Breakfast, and honestly, I thought it tasted better than Berg breakfast so I’ve been back several times since. The floor to ceiling windows on both sides of the dining room are perfect for people watching.

\r\n\r\n

Adams

\r\n\r\n

I had a little bit of a scary experience swiping in because apparently first-years housed in Adams cannot bring guests to dinner, but it was all worth it for the yummy pumpkin squares (yes, even in April). The regal feel of the dark wood and hints of gold made me feel cool and edgy and felt perfect for a winter or even early spring dinner, although it might feel a bit heavy in mood for the summer.

\r\n\r\n

After finishing this adventure of dining in each of the houses, my biggest takeaway was that all dining halls are good dining halls and that we don’t have that many meals in a week. Each had a distinct flavor — both in experience and food — but that’s what makes them special. And even if you like a different dining hall more than your own, let this article be proof that you can tag along with a friend from that house to every meal, except on Community Night of course. Harvard’s campus is your oyster. Eat in all parts of it.

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-8bcf2acc769791ba4fab74268e983fba0ac36492}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/thumbnails.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/03/06/123433_1354748.jpg.1500x1000_q95_crop-smart_upscale.jpg', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-0acee74cc95d13a4ceedab3bd3164f8ba8ae1edb}

\r\n\r\n

Spring has arrived in Boston! For almost all of us, this is the first time we can explore t he city during this season because let’s be honest, we have been postponing outings for years. Here are Flyby’s fun suggestions to escape the Harvard bubble.

\r\n\r\n

Lunch on the Boston Common

\r\n\r\n

With the sun shining brighter and the temperatures getting warmer, why not have a picnic in the oldest city park in the United States? You can bring your own food or purchase from one of the many food stands in the park. With the beautiful Massachusetts State House building shining in the background and families with children strolling around, you’re bound to feel relaxed and re-energized to get through these last few weeks of the semester.

\r\n\r\n

Attend an Outdoor Concert

\r\n\r\n

Now that you can stand outside for more than ten minutes without freezing your tail off, enjoy some live music at an outdoor concert. From the Cambridge Symphony Orchestra to a Coffeehouse Concert with Thea Hopkins, this wide variety of options means that you can probably find at least one event that floats your boat. Many of these performances are free, and others start as low as $5.

\r\n\r\n

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

\r\n\r\n

In Boston, April means the start of the Red Sox season. Grab a buddy or two and spend some quality time together at one of the most iconic landmarks of the city. Even if you couldn’t explain how baseball works if your life depended on it (do they score touchdowns?), at least this is an opportunity to look #cuteandsporty in a red jersey.

\r\n\r\n

Shop around Faneuil Hall Marketplace

\r\n\r\n

With a plethora of food options inside Quincy Market, street performers outside, and souvenir vendors along the perimeter, Faneuil Hall Marketplace is a calming place to spend a clear spring day. It is ideal for both hanging out with a friend or people-watching by yourself. The marketplace is also within walking distance from other iconic locations such as the New England Aquarium, Paul Revere House, and Old State House.

\r\n\r\n

Harborwalk

\r\n\r\n

Explore the beautiful Seaport District by walking along the gorgeous Boston Harborwalk. Since the trail is 43-miles long, you could even walk to the John F. Kennedy Museum and Southern Dorchester. Don’t forget to bring a jacket in case it gets colder!

\r\n\r\n

Make the most of the remaining few weeks and get to know the iconic city of Boston. It’s the second to last month of the school year, so it’s about time that you leave the bubble!

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-0acee74cc95d13a4ceedab3bd3164f8ba8ae1edb}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/04/10/223802_1355692.gif', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-ac3ba8f2fc833bdac16f961c14e95dbf7b9cd49f}Alright folks. We are just days away from the first Yardfest since 2019… Phew. As someone who attended the Yardfests of yore (i.e. exactly one, featuring Kiiara & Bazzi), I am wildly excited for the chance to relive some freshman year nostalgia. Sure, maybe we didn’t get Olivia Rodrigo opening plus the ultimate One Direction reunion as Flyby once manifested, but Swae Lee isn’t a bad deal either! Read on for all you need to know about this Sunday’s festivities.

\r\n\r\n

What Even Is a Yardfest??

\r\n\r\n

For those who have not experienced Harvard’s annual spring darty concert – i.e., literally everyone younger than the Class of 2022 – here’s what you need to know. Sponsored by the College Events Board since 2006, Yardfest is billed as the ultimate chance for the student body to join together in a day of musical festivities – fun fact, it used to be called Springfest and was hosted by the Undergraduate Council (rip).

\r\n\r\n

Expect a day of fun from start to finish, kicking off the post-Spring Break season (aka, the best part of the school year) with a bang. Before the official events begin, be on the lookout for any student groups throwing their own pre-Yardfest festivities.

\r\n\r\n

Starting at 2 p.m., each neighborhood will be hosting their own block parties – we’ve got the Quad + Dudley on the Quad Lawn, River East in Leverett Courtyard, River West in Eliot Courtyard, and River Central in Lowell’s Large Courtyard. Each neighborhood will have their own ~vibes~, but expect games, food, swag, face paint, drinks, and more!

\r\n\r\n

After the block parties, you’ll want to head on over to Tercentenary Theatre (the spelling is pretentious, we know) at 4 p.m. (especially if you want to secure even more Yardfest swag!). Student openers will start at 4:30 p.m., the “celebrity opener” (ooh mysterious) begins at 6 p.m., and Swae Lee gets going around 7 p.m. – and then time for a good night’s rest before that Monday morning Gen-Ed!

\r\n\r\n

{shortcode-2adb27ccbd0f99ed4708bb969397d9d1fd152b5c}Your Yardfest Starter Pack

\r\n\r\n

In my professional opinion, there are a couple of absolute must-haves you’ll need when the day is actually here. First up, break out those fanny packs, folks – you’ll want to bring the essentials, but large bags are not allowed. Make sure to bring your Harvard ID along too, as only Harvard students are allowed inside (and there’s no re-entry allowed either!).

\r\n\r\n

Once the day is finally here, DOWN. THAT. WATER. It’s a Sunday after all – you don’t want those Monday morning classes hitting like a brick. A good brunch is an absolute must too. There will be a barbecue dinner from 5-7:30 p.m. in the Yard, but don’t skip lunch in anticipation — you don’t want to be enjoying the festivities that day on an empty stomach.

\r\n\r\n

Who Is Performing?

\r\n\r\n

When you arrive at the concert, you’ll first be greeted by two student group openers, chosen at last month’s Battle for Yardfest. The Yard Bops feature a “contemporary blend of pop and funk music” and also performed during CEB’s virtual Crimson Jam back in 2020. Along with them will be Charles Revival – a band composed entirely of freshmen, so all you class of 2025s better be excited. ;)

\r\n\r\n

Now for the especially fun part: that ~Celebrity Opener~ I mentioned earlier. Your guess is as good as mine for who this will be, but my bets are currently on Maggie Rogers, Jay Sean (again), or Larry Bacow on a saxophone. Or who knows! Maybe B.o.B. will make his triumphant debut after last semester’s canceled Crimson Jam.

\r\n\r\n

Who Is Swae Lee?

\r\n\r\n

So by now you’ve been through the block parties, the student openers, AND the super special celebrity guest – it’s now FINALLY time for the star of the show himself, Swae Lee. First revealed after he leaked his calendar on Twitter last month, Harvard is just one of the many college concert appearances Swae Lee will be making this semester.

\r\n\r\n

Especially well-known as one half of the duo Rae Sremmurd with his brother Slim Jxmmi, Swae Lee is a rapper, singer, songwriter, and record producer. You may know him from the 2016 hit “Black Beatles” (aka, the Mannequin Challenge trend that took over the Internet), or from any of his many, many features that have netted him a number of Grammy nominations. (Not to mention, he was also raised in Mississippi, which brings this fellow Mississippian a lot of joy <3).

\r\n\r\n

And by the way, if you happen to be reading this @Swae Lee, we would certainly not be upset if you brought some of your many ~friends~ along – I’m sure Post Malone or Jhené Aiko or Nicki Minaj would love Harvard too 😌

\r\n\r\n

So, break out those festival fits, pack your fanny pack, and start downing those water bottles. Most importantly, have fun, stay safe, and enjoy the hopefully nice Cambridge weather!

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-ac3ba8f2fc833bdac16f961c14e95dbf7b9cd49f}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/04/08/005415_1355592.gif', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>), ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-2adb27ccbd0f99ed4708bb969397d9d1fd152b5c}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/04/08/005319_1355591.jpg', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-3bb66201e86295d4392091ebcb49970a24f7e693}We’ve all been there: your morning coffee is wearing off, you’ve finished all your classes but still have a lot more to do and all you really want to do is sleep. So, what are you going to do to get through the rest of the day? Obviously a nap is the move — follow the chart, and we’ll tell you just how to do it.

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-3bb66201e86295d4392091ebcb49970a24f7e693}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/thumbnails.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/04/06/200608_1355550.png.1500x1131_q95_crop-smart_upscale.png', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-fe431b0c4d4f549675b0454800337d669e015d4c}After spending the better part of two years desperately avoiding Covid, it finally infiltrated my suite. There’s never a good time to get the good ol’ Rona, but I can think of a thousand-and-one reasons why this was the worst week for it to all go down.

\r\n\r\n

My first roommate started having symptoms Monday. Shortly thereafter, a rapid test was taken. BAM. Two red lines. One roommate was down. Three to go. Naturally, we all started freaking out — we never could have imagined this extremely likely scenario would happen to us. Who would be the last one standing?

\r\n\r\n

Our suite was bursting with stress. More stress than the rest of the Harvard student body combined, and yeah, that’s saying something. And I, as a student-athlete, had exactly one week left in the season — so close, yet so far.

\r\n\r\n

After testing negative — but staying positive — for three days in a row, things were starting to look up. We had probably been a little exposed but, hey, I didn’t even share a bedroom with our positive suitemate. The little tickle in my throat and my roommate’s sniffle were just stress, right? Or maybe spring allergies? Worst case scenario, the start of some mild frat flu I picked up from the Berg. That was nothing my immune system couldn’t conquer … right? The tests were still negative and we’d been leaving the windows open for air flow, so everything was … ok.

\r\n\r\n

I was supposed to leave for New Hampshire with the team on Thursday. After hearing I was in close contact with my suitemate, my coach wasn’t jazzed about me getting in the van to drive three hours with the team. Luckily, my super-dad was flying across the country this weekend to come watch my last races, so the problem was solved: I’d drive to New Hampshire with my dad and isolate myself in my own room in the team house. All was well.

\r\n\r\n

My dad and I got to New Hampshire, and the minute I stepped out of the car, I got a call from my fun and friendly roommate. And BAM. Another roommate down. Two more to go. This was becoming mildly catastrophic. I was really exposed at this point, and the tickle in my throat started to seem a bit more alarming. So observing more caution, I got a hotel room where my dad was staying, so I wouldn’t expose my teammates.

\r\n\r\n

Fast forward and it’s Friday (race day) morning. I wake up, and I feel like I’ve been screaming at the top of my lungs at a Harry Styles concert. 15 minutes later and the rapid test confirms I am, in fact, Covid-19’s latest victim.

\r\n\r\n

Well, obviously that squashed my race starts for the weekend, and I had also just exposed my chauffeur. Sorry, Dad! Ever the moral supporter — even though his dear daughter would be chilling in her hotel room all weekend — my dad masked up and went out to cheer for the other Crimson skiers.

\r\n\r\n

I eventually made my way back to Cambridge after the weekend, accessorized in my N95 mask. Thanks to my dad, I was able to accumulate an enviable grocery haul to stock up for the rest of my isolation in Pennypacker — no, not just Trader Joe’s, but also Whole Foods. I joined my roommates, all of whom had Covid now, back in our suite. We then spent the weekend going on long walks, looking through social media at all the events we were missing, and “celebrating” my birthday in quarantine.

\r\n\r\n

Did Covid ruin my season? No. Did it ruin this week? Pretty much. Have millions of people experienced this same exact inconvenience and much worse? Absolutely.

\r\n\r\n

But hey, my symptoms were mild thanks to my three doses of the vaccine (shoutout Pfizer), and I’m coming out of quarantine a year older and with my sense of taste and smell. My roommates and I don’t hate each other (too much) despite spending DAYS with no other human contact, and I finally got caught up on the latest TikTok trends. Better yet, now I can start training for next season. And the best part of all: no more Color tests for the rest of the year. See you and your testing reminder texts later!

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-fe431b0c4d4f549675b0454800337d669e015d4c}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/04/05/224914_1355539.gif', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-0f5927bfc370693b760acc9ca423690061c9537f}Although Disney’s love letter to Colombia, “Encanto,” was released in November 2021, the movie has been taking over social media for months, and you would be of a rare species if you haven’t heard the alluring earworm that is “We Don’t Talk About Bruno.” Here, we’ve assigned an “Encanto” character to each of the Houses, so welcome to the family Madrigal (and the Harvard houses)!

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-0f5927bfc370693b760acc9ca423690061c9537f}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/thumbnails.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/04/05/001632_1355520.png.1500x1171_q95_crop-smart_upscale.png', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-41fa5208ef31a695ccb493dbb5affed0ba8e5624}Dearest Reader,

\r\n\r\n

As of Friday, March 25, 2022, the second social season of “Bridgerton” has begun. With love webs, scandals, and new and old faces alike, there inevitably comes drama, procrastination on p-sets, and efforts to ignore Canvas notifications. This season, our most notable additions (and South Asian queens) are Kate and Edwina Sharma, the latter being the Queen’s appointed diamond.

\r\n\r\n

Read on to hear about what kind of Harvard student the “Bridgerton” characters would be. Tread lightly, however, as there may be spoilers ahead.

\r\n\r\n

Viscount Anthony Bridgerton

\r\n\r\n

Anthony, the Ec Bro to end all Ec Bros, constantly tries to justify his certified-snaky concentration by complaining how much pressure he feels knowing he will be inheriting his family’s extremely wealthy consulting firm. In addition, Anthony has the incessant need to glare at every woman who crosses his path because no one can give unsolicited investment advice like he can. Nevertheless, he gets aways with it because he’s actually quite hot.

\r\n\r\n

Kate Sharma

\r\n\r\n

Kate studies engineering or CS because she’s a STEM queen, but also just to spite the males in the field. She’s obviously at the top of her class and is not afraid to confront anyone who questions her abilities. She out-sections section kid and confidently calls people out for their BS. In her free time, she likes to hit the gym and out-bench every man in the weight room.

\r\n\r\n

Edwina Sharma

\r\n\r\n

Edwina came to Harvard believing she wanted to go into Economics, meet a nice Finance Bro (like Anthony), and become a rich housewife. Plot twist, her family actually influenced her to study Ec, and she was just drinking the Kool-aid without thinking much of it. She decides that she needs to think for herself and switches to Comparative Literature because she is fluent in many languages anyway and loves reading. She also chooses an Education secondary because she realizes her worth and now dreams of opening her own school to teach kids how to be strong and independent.

\r\n\r\n

Eloise Bridgerton

\r\n\r\n

Eloise concentrates in Women, Gender, and Sexuality with a secondary in Philosophy. She is the ultimate girlboss, with her independent spirit and fiery passion for women’s rights, organizing forums and panels for like-minded students. She’s not the most outspoken student in class, but she is always judging the men.

\r\n\r\n

Colin Birdgerton

\r\n\r\n

Colin is an academic sophomore but a social senior who is either studying abroad or taking gap semesters. He probably has been present on campus for a total of two semesters throughout his time at Harvard. He’s changed his concentration 5 times and counting. He also can’t stop thinking about that one girl from his Stat class last semester who seemed to have had a crush on him. In reality, she was just giving him attention so she could get p-set help, and now she’s dating someone else. He constantly complains to his girl best friend, who is in fact secretly in love with him, about how “nice guys always finish last.”

\r\n\r\n

Benedict Bridgerton

\r\n\r\n

Benedict was, until recently, the one TDM concentrator in his class. He is the embodiment of “here for a good time, not a long time.” He has now decided to drop out of Harvard after realizing that his family made a donation to the school which secured his place (no wonder there was a building that shared his last name). Good for him, though, school was just holding him back, anyway.

\r\n\r\n

Penelope Featherington

\r\n\r\n

Penelope’s passions consist of hearing, discussing, and spreading the latest news gossip. She’s heavily involved in The Crimson, The Advocate, and every other publication on campus. She is also the moderator of Crimson Confessions. In her free time, she loves to sit in the dhalls and listen in on people’s conversations (leave it to her to know the latest tea). No one really knows what she is concentrating in, but it’s probably something writing related… we think!

\r\n\r\n

Duchess Daphne Bridgerton

\r\n\r\n

Daphne is the ultimate wing-woman and enjoys supporting her friends’ love lives. She is in an extremely committed long-term relationship with her uber rich boyfriend (she’s, like, basically married), and they just celebrated their anniversary. She is a Psychology concentrator for the sole purpose of being able to psychoanalyze the people that her friends are going out with so she can tell them when they can do better.

\r\n\r\n

So, gentle reader, prepare for a season of much scandal as some of our characters find themselves in promising circumstances while others find themselves compromised. P-sets and essays can wait, but this season is truly something you don’t want to miss.

\r\n\r\n

Yours Truly,

\r\n\r\n

Lady Whistledown

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-41fa5208ef31a695ccb493dbb5affed0ba8e5624}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/04/03/222833_1355433.gif', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-a8fc14fb7dc480488be36a61432abe12010e73dd}Describe the Quad in one phrase? While residents might say that it’s fun, tight-knit, and a real community, outsiders might claim that the Quad is “so far away.”

\r\n\r\n

The Quadlings’ retort? “Mather is just as far.”

\r\n\r\n

However, we here at Flyby stand by facts and logic. We don't just blindly agree to statements: we put them to the test. So I did the only thing I could: I made trips to the Quad and Mather just to walk all the way back to the Yard from them. And my findings may surprise you.

\r\n\r\n

Part I: The Walk from Mather to the Yard

\r\n\r\n

Disclaimer: I lived in Dunster during the fall of my freshman year so I am a little bit too familiar with the walk from Mather to the Yard. I have a lot of experience walking this route, which may contribute to my ability to walk it easily. The average non-Quadling (or at least River West person) is also more familiar with this area of campus than with the Quad, which may also contribute to my ease of walking from here to the Yard. I got to Mather House at 8:01 p.m. on a Monday night.

\r\n\r\n

The familiar walk from Mather to the Yard was relatively painless thanks to the little path that cuts through the street next to Leverett Towers, to my familiarity of the area, to my luck catching streetlights and to the lack of people around at 8 p.m. on a Monday. The walk was quick and enjoyable — especially because I was only walking to the closest gate in the Yard (which happens to be the one right by Lamont). It was not long enough for me to get sweaty from walking!

\r\n\r\n

I walked from ~just~ inside the Mather Gate to the threshold of the aforementioned Yard Gate in 4 minutes and 41 seconds. I will grant this walk an estimated one-minute margin of error due to the potential of being caught at streetlights.

\r\n\r\n

Part II: Walking from the Quad to the Yard

\r\n\r\n

I am much less familiar with the Quad. From my brief investigation on Google Maps, the fastest way from the Quad to the Yard is walking along Garden Street, across the Commons, and along Cambridge Street by Littauer and the Science Center Plaza until you get to the Yard gate closest to the overpass by Holworthy.

\r\n\r\n

I got to the Quad (well, the SOCH) at 5:34 p.m. on a Tuesday. Already, I noticed a few things that would likely hinder my walk. First, there were a lot more people walking to and from the Quad at this time, making the streets busier. Secondly, there were a lot more cars, meaning I would spend more time waiting for them to pass. Contrary to popular belief, if a random car strikes you, you won’t get tuition money, so while I kept my eyes peeled for Harvard Shuttles, I avoided regular cars.

\r\n\r\n

The other issue is that the Quad and the Yard are separated by a few major intersections and the overpass, meaning that there are a lot more traffic lights on this route. I spent precious minutes just waiting for the cars to drive by to finish my trip.

\r\n\r\n

I managed to walk from the midway point of the SOCH steps to the closest gate in the Yard in 7 minutes and 32 seconds. This walk merited a two-minute margin of error to account for people coming from different houses and light fluctuations.

\r\n\r\n

Part III: Conclusions and Future Direction

\r\n\r\n

Overall, the walk from the Quad to the Yard’s minimum time, accounting for margin of error, is 5 minutes and 32 seconds, which overlaps with the walk from Mather House to the Yard’s maximum time, which, adjusting for the margin of error, can be up to 5 minutes and 41 seconds. However, due to the multitude of factors that could impede the walk from the Quad to the Yard, I will make the conclusion that the Quad is in fact further from the Yard than Mather House. However, if you’re just trying to go to the Science Center, then we have a clear winner: the Quad.

\r\n\r\n

You might notice that my times are a bit fast. You might say, “Matylda! It took me 20 minutes to walk from Mather to the Yard!” I promise that I have better things to do with my life than lie about the time I took walking between random parts of campus. I am simply a #certified fast walker — and from New York City. However, here are some tips for walking quickly from a New Yorker if you are in a hurry, want to appear unapproachable, and/or simply like having more free time:

\r\n\r\n

1. Put down your heel first when you are walking. This of course assumes you are not wearing heels. I have no tips for walking quickly in heels, but if someone does, please send them to me <3.

\r\n\r\n

2. Swing your arms a little. Not obnoxiously, but enough to counteract your footwork and keep your pace comfortable.

\r\n\r\n

3. Safety permitting, take liberty with the streets. Instead of walking straight across the crosswalk, cross it at an angle. This is a real life application of the Pythagorean Theorem for those of us who don’t know math: your walking distance will be shorter!

\r\n\r\n

Regardless, now that spring is rapidly approaching (please let this be true), I encourage you to enjoy your walk regardless of how long it is, and slow down a bit. Save the speedy walking tips for when you’re really in a rush or when you just missed a shuttle in the winter whether it be the Quad or Mather shuttle. We love both <3.

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-a8fc14fb7dc480488be36a61432abe12010e73dd}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/03/30/212430_1355356.gif', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-f809dd29a0af11df5e740a7d0fb68317873b25d5}

\r\n\r\n

Abolish the UC this, referendum that. Whenever I have the misfortune of opening my inbox, there’s usually some confusing message about everyone’s favorite student government waiting for me. From what I can glean, there’s apparently some notion to tear down the old way of doing things and start over fresh. Considering how well that worked when getting back with my ex, I’m all for it! It can’t possibly get more bureaucratic and complicated to understand can it? As someone with only the vaguest understanding of what a student government should do, I feel that I’m qualified to recommend a few suitable replacements. Hopefully at least one of these alternatives can give club sports teams some money.

\r\n\r\n

A Random Tribute System

\r\n\r\n

There’ve been some admittedly valid complaints about the campaigning and election system in the UC. To prevent the replacement government from becoming a popularity contest, I suggest we do away with elections entirely. Instead, we’ll have Larry Bacow summon a randomly chosen student from each House and dorm, and they will become our student government whether they want to or not. Note: The fight-to-the-death component a la Hunger Games is optional, but could be fun!

\r\n\r\n

An ATM

\r\n\r\n

Upon further examination, maybe we’ve progressed past the need for representative government. There’s really only one thing any student government should do, and that is give me money. Let’s cut out the middlemen and get efficient.

\r\n\r\n

Monthly Mob

\r\n\r\n

On the other hand, maybe student participation is the solution. Consider it: once a month, the whole student body convenes in Terc Theatre, and we just yell about what should happen next. Like, Ancient Greek Assembly style. It sounds about as productive as a UC meeting, but with a substantially higher potential to turn into a darty.

\r\n\r\n

Remy and a Ouija Board

\r\n\r\n

Or, we could abandon human government entirely and let something more mystical determine our collective fates. Personally, I think Remy would never steer us wrong, and I get the vibe that he could competently use a Oujia board. Maybe he can confirm who the Yardfest artist is!

\r\n\r\n

Whether or not we actually end up with a new student government, I’m excited to finally stop getting emails and seeing Instagram stories about it soon. I hope.

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-f809dd29a0af11df5e740a7d0fb68317873b25d5}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/03/29/202450_1355318.png', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-24ebe85a51b7ea4c06b017dd2084055282401b56}

\r\n\r\n

Remember the good old days when you couldn’t wait to shop for back-to-school notebooks and binders in middle school? I ~lived~ for deciding which colored folders I would pair with each subject, ascending to my final form as the Stationary Kid, envy of my classmates. Those choices that twelve-year-old-me made have become permanently embedded in my psyche. Some of these might be hot takes. Let’s get into it.

\r\n\r\n

Green belongs with Science.

\r\n\r\n

This is non-negotiable. Whether it’s chemistry or physics or bio, it doesn’t matter. Green always belongs to the sciences. Science means earthy (re: green) things like plants and bugs.

\r\n\r\n

History is Red.

\r\n\r\n

I started this history-as-red-streak in my seventh grade Mesopotamia class and haven’t looked back. I’m pretty sure it was because I associated Mesopotamia with heat and the sun, but it soon came to represent the bloodshed we learned about in eighth grade Roman history. And now, no matter what history class I’m in, there’s some sort of bloodshed, so it still checks out to this day.

\r\n\r\n

Spanish = Yellow or Orange.

\r\n\r\n

I think most would agree with me here. This is probably because many Spanish-speaking countries that Spanish classes focus on have warmer climates (Spain, Mexico), and my middle school Spanish classes were always decked out in yellow, orange, and red.

\r\n\r\n

Math is Black or White.

\r\n\r\n

Math doesn’t deserve a fun color because it is simply not fun. White for math is acceptable, but bonus points if your high school math binder was black because it sucked the soul out of you similar to a black hole.

\r\n\r\n

English/Literature is Navy Blue.

\r\n\r\n

I know this is specific and probably unpopular. Yes, blue could work for the sciences but since green takes precedence, blue had to go to English by default. And who can forget the famous “The curtains were f***ing blue”? No? Just me?

\r\n\r\n

Purple is French.

\r\n\r\n

I’m currently five years strong with French being assigned a purple notebook and binder, and I plan to continue this. I won’t be answering questions.

\r\n\r\n

Feel free to argue with me, but I stand my ground with these decisions. Everyone has their own ways of making school fun (or at least mildly tolerable), and as long as you don’t make math hot pink, we got nothing to worry about.

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-24ebe85a51b7ea4c06b017dd2084055282401b56}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/03/28/201658_1355229.gif', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-0797aa5e8d2c51842685adffa6acaa4cfa325258}

\r\n\r\n

Ever since I committed to Harvard, I’ve been looking forward to Housing Day. I couldn’t wait to have way-too-much house pride, meet other upperclassmen, and get my complete “Harvard introduction.” Housing Day 2022 came and went, so here is a first year’s Housing Day expectations vs. reality comparison for the much-anticipated event.

\r\n\r\n

Pre-Housing Day Thoughts and Expectations

\r\n\r\n

Get a River House. That’s not only an expectation for all first years but a deep-rooted desire. Even typing it out seems like bad luck, so I’m currently knocking on wood to scare away any bad-juju. The Quad is definitely not as bad as people make it out to be, and if I am sorted into the Quad I’m sure I will come to love it. That being said, I’m going to be honest here — I want a River House.

\r\n\r\n

I predict that upperclassmen will storm our room at around 9 a.m. I fear that if they are any later than that, at least one person in my blocking group will start crying out of stress (the Housing Day process is pretty overwhelming as is, and we’re all pretty emotionally volatile about it already). I’m really excited to sleepover with my blocking group, but I’m sure we won’t get much sleep because of River Run our nerves. I also hope that I will be in the same house as my friends in different blocking groups. That just seems right mathematically given that there are only 12 houses, and I’d like to think I know people in 12 different blocking groups. I look forward to hanging out in the House I’m sorted into, and getting some good House merch.

\r\n\r\n

I’m sure there will be a frenzy of people asking each other what House they got once dorm storming is over. I, personally, plan to text at least ten people because I’m just so curious to see who will get quadded. I can’t wait to experience one of the most hallowed Harvard traditions. And, no matter what happens, the energy and pride felt by all first-years will be off the charts.

\r\n\r\n

Reality

\r\n\r\n

I got quadded.

\r\n\r\n

Yes, it was quite a shock to me too. I will be blaming the fact that I wrote, “I expect to get a River House” above. Right after we found out, I’m not going to lie — I did text my parents that this was my 13th reason, and someone in my blocking group did end up crying.

\r\n\r\n

There was a frenzy in the Yard. Even people that I’ve talked to maybe twice came up to me to ask what house I got. When I told them that I got Pfoho, they all responded with, “I’m sorry” or, “Oh no, the Quad…. It’ll be okay.” I found this slew of comments to be the worst part about getting quadded. The Housing Day experience turned out to be pretty unfulfilling because I felt I couldn’t be happy or proud of the house I got like everyone else. So, my blocking group and I sought refuge at Bluestone Lane and then I skipped Expos, as one naturally does after getting quadded.

\r\n\r\n

At night, we all ventured to the Quad for dinner. I wish this wasn’t true, but seeing Pfoho in person did not quell my fears. When we toured the Igloo, one of my friends literally broke into tears because, honestly, the place seemed a little depressing.

\r\n\r\n

After our not-so-reassuring visit to Pfoho, a bunch of freshmen walked back to the Yard together, since, of course, the Quad shuttle had broken down. I came to realize that most of my non-blockmate friends also got quadded! Turns out, there is truly no greater bonding experience than getting quadded, and we all immediately developed a little community. We created a Snapchat group chat, started making merch (aka t-shirts that say “PfoHOES”, “cabDADDIES”, “PURRier”), and began to incorporate as many Quad jokes as possible into our vocabulary. An Instagram story I saw the next morning captured my feelings about getting quadded really well: “Better to take a L together than a W alone.” In my semi-depressed state, that really hit.

\r\n\r\n

Looking back, I have mixed feelings about Housing Day. Truthfully, I was disappointed by the outcome, and maybe I will always be ever-so-slightly upset about getting quadded. However, as more time goes by, I find that I’m becoming more and more excited about my future in Pfoho. I truly can’t wait to join the tight-knit Quad community (the sQUAD if I may) with so many of my friends. And, most importantly, I can’t pfwait to pfmake so pfmany of out pfpocket Pfoho pfpuns pfor no pfreason.

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-0797aa5e8d2c51842685adffa6acaa4cfa325258}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/03/27/204729_1355190.gif', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-3c554b4fbb8f54fb2adee61eaeefeffd046d4c3e}On Sunday, the full squad of Hollywood A-Listers will pull up to the Dolby Theater in Los Angeles to politely laugh about how great they all are, talk about how movies can change the world, and give out awards to movies most people have never heard about let alone watched. Whether you’re tuning in just for the outfits, to procrastinate your psets, to see what big mistake the Academy will commit this year, or to hear “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” performed live, Flyby Blog is here to provide you with context for the night’s major contenders. After reading this, you’ll be able to impress your Film Nerd crush, seem culturally in the loop for about two days, and go nuts on Twitter until everyone forgets about the Oscars and nominations are announced next year.

\r\n\r\n

And without further ado, here’s Flyby’s guide to your nominees for Best Picture:

\r\n\r\n

“Belfast”

\r\n\r\n

Kenneth Branagh tells the story of his childhood in Northern Ireland during The Troubles conflict in the late 1960s. This movie has achieved the impossible, from making Fifty Shades’s Jamie Dornan into a respectable actor to giving perhaps the sweetest message about moving past ethnic conflict that cinema has seen in a while. As one of the shortest movies on this list, you can definitely squeeze in watching it between lecture and lab.

\r\n\r\n

“CODA”

\r\n\r\n

Standing for Child of Deaf Adults, this nominee (and my predicted winner) is also the most Harvard-centric: main character and Massachusetts native Ruby dreams of attending Berklee (shout-out to our artists who are also enrolled here) but is worried about the impact this will have on her deaf family, who she has interpreted for her entire life. A remake of the French “La Famille Bélier,” watch out for this film in the Best Supporting Actor (the phenomenal Troy Kotsur is the first deaf male acting Oscar nominee) and maybe even Adapted Screenplay categories. If you choose to watch this movie, grab a lot of tissues and open up Spotify because speaking from experience, you’ll be listening to the soundtrack for weeks while studying in Widener.

\r\n\r\n

“Don’t Look Up”

\r\n\r\n

One of the more well-known Netflix nominees going into Oscar night, this is also one of the most polarizing. Telling the story of a large asteroid on its way to hit Earth and astronomers’ attempt to get the government to care, “Don’t Look Up” has been criticized for its similarity to an SNL skit and its lack of subtlety. On the other hand, it says what needs to be said: climate change is going to destroy us, and Ariana Grande has a beautiful voice. With an all-star cast including Jennifer Lawrence in her return to the big screen, “Don’t Look Up” is at the very least, incredibly interesting, which can’t be said about a lot of films that have been nominated for Best Picture before.

\r\n\r\n

“Drive My Car”

\r\n\r\n

Looking to impress your East Asian Cinema TF? Daydreaming about going to Japan? Look no further. “Drive My Car” is everything a movie should be. Following a theater director whose life is turned upside-down when he discovers that his wife is cheating on him — only for her to die soon after — Ryusuke Hamaguchi’s meditation on grief hits you harder than your professors assigning homework, papers, and labs right before spring break. Support the Oscars’ shift toward being less America-centric by watching this film, a likely winner in the Best International Feature category and nominee for Best Director.

\r\n\r\n

“Dune”

\r\n\r\n

This is just one of the movies featuring Timothée Chalamet nominated this year. I watched it, and still can’t really tell you what happened. But this sci-fi epic is the likely-winner of nearly all technical awards. Seriously, it looks stunning, and I’m not just saying that because Zendaya is in it. With a story about warring groups and a powerful substance that permits travel faster than the speed of light, impress your history professors by pointing out how this film and the novel it is based on are allegories for the Cold War. If that’s not enough to convince you to watch “Dune,” I will repeat: Zendaya.

\r\n\r\n

“King Richard”

\r\n\r\n

“King Richard” doubles as this Oscar season’s fan-favorite biopic and random sports movie thrown into the list of nominees to attract the athlete crowd. Featuring likely-Best-Actor-winner Will Smith as their father, the titular Richard, the movie focuses on his sacrifices and work spent training tennis stars Serena and Venus Williams (who happen to be executive producers) from a young age, as well as the beginning of their rise to fame. Plus, Beyoncé’s featured song is nominated for Best Original Song for this movie (another performance to look forward to). Honestly, having Beyoncé write a song for your movie is the best award out there.

\r\n\r\n

“Licorice Pizza”

\r\n\r\n

Disclaimer: this movie is about the romantic relationship between a fifteen-year-old child actor and a twenty-five-year-old woman who is looking to use his connections to become famous. It also features some extremely racist comments from a white man pretending to speak English with a Japanese accent. I sincerely hope this movie doesn’t walk away with the Best Original Screenplay award it is favored for. On a lighter note though, I think we can expect to be seeing more of the wonderful Alana Haim and Cooper Hoffman in the future.

\r\n\r\n

“Nightmare Alley”

\r\n\r\n

Extremely gritty and drenched in moonlight, watching “Nightmare Alley” makes you wonder what illicit substances the makers of this movie were on. Despite not being as well-received as some of the movies it beat out for its slot as a Best Picture nominee (I’m looking at you “tick, tick…BOOM!”), Guillermo del Toro’s story about a circus performer who suddenly figures out how to make a ton of money as a mind reader is wild from start to finish.

\r\n\r\n

“The Power of the Dog”

\r\n\r\n

Once a predicted winner, Best Picture is no longer a sure thing for this movie, which is such a slow burn that the plot can’t be summarized without spoiling the ending. Let’s just say Benedong Cucumber stars as a cowboy who doesn’t like his new nephew-in-law. And then things get crazy. Set in beautiful New Zealand, Jane Campion is likely to become only the third female Best Director winner and would become the first woman to win it consecutively after another woman (Chloe Zhao won last year for Nomadland). So whether or not it wins Best Picture, there will be something to celebrate ;)

\r\n\r\n

“West Side Story”

\r\n\r\n

At this point, everybody knows the original West Side Story was racist. Steven Spielberg’s big solution to making his remake not racist? Casting Latinx actors in the roles of the Latinx characters. That’s literally it. The dialogue still ranges from obviously racist to (new! fresh! cool!) representing white colonizer narratives. Literally. The white Ansel Elgort (who, besides being horrible in this role, also plays a criminal) explains to a Puerto Rican character what something in Spanish means. Separately, he tells another Puerto Rican character that he needs to marry a Puerto Rican girl. Nice. Besides that, there is a transgender man featured prominently who is only properly gendered by the other characters when they want something from him. However, I must confess: the performances in this movie were (besides Elgort) phenomenal. Rachel Zegler as Maria is showstopping, and Ariana DeBose as Anita rightfully deserves the Best Supporting Actress trophy she is nominated for. Just. Please stop trying to fix West Side Story – it’s a lost cause.

\r\n\r\n

Other Awards and Events of Note

\r\n\r\n

\r\n\t
• \r\n\t

  Calling all “Twilight” fans: Kristen Stewart, up for her role as Lady Di in Spencer, is FINALLY receiving Academy recognition. Once the favorite for Best Actress, the race has been blown wide open, so definitely tune in to support our girl, now all grown up :’)

  \r\n\t
\r\n\t
• \r\n\t

  Billie Eilish and FINNEAS, the favorites for Best Original Song, will be performing “No Time to Die.” This girl is already more successful than I could ever dream of being, and I am here for it.

  \r\n\t
\r\n\t
• \r\n\t

  For the first time ever, there will be a new “Popular Film Award” that people have been able to vote for on Twitter. Maybe it’ll go to “Spider-Man: No Way Home.” Maybe it’ll go to “Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings” or Camila Cabello’s “Cinderella.” Will the Academy embarrass itself? Rig the vote? Only time will tell.

  \r\n\t
\r\n

\r\n\r\n

Whether (or not!) you end up watching any of these films, I hope this list has given you somewhat of an idea of what will happen on Sunday. If not? Tune in next year for even more Academy shenanigans.

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-3c554b4fbb8f54fb2adee61eaeefeffd046d4c3e}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/03/24/222243_1355167.png', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-e0ef8dba55a7cf81ccf358e5e274b6188aa4bbe2}Remember that fiery yellow ball of gas thing that lives in the sky and makes it warm sometimes? Well, now that it’s springtime, it’s coming back! Here are some of the things we’re most looking forward to about the rest of the semester’s more bearable climes.

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-e0ef8dba55a7cf81ccf358e5e274b6188aa4bbe2}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/03/23/214041_1355138.png', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-6c1984a78bab4f3bda112e722a1e1203a25dfab4} Ah, spring. The buds budding, the breeze puffing, the rabbits by the Leveret Towers multiplying by the day. Everybody from that kid who wore flip flops to class in February to the girl who you’ve never seen without a hat, mittens, snow boots and parka combo pack are out to play, and it’s time to get vitamin D for the first time in five months. So here are some ideas for getting your spring frolic on:

\r\n\r\n

Picnic by the River

\r\n\r\n

Get some of that new dhall fig jam and sourdough combo, and create a charcuterie board with all the olives, goat cheese, mozzarella and shredded parm a takeout container can hold, and make for the river. Go full Bacchus with fancy beverages, and make yourself a crown out of leaves and flowers stolen from the dining hall spring bouquets. Bonus points if you don’t sit in goose shit.

\r\n\r\n

Go for a joyride

\r\n\r\n

Ride the shuttle over to the SEC and wander back. Take a blue bike over to MIT and gawk at everyone who goes there. Take the silver line to the airport, just to see what’s up. Commandeer an electric scooter and absolutely rip it through the yard. It will basically be Fast & Furious: Certified Nerd Edition.

\r\n\r\n

Walk somebody’s dog

\r\n\r\n

Ask your tutor or proctor to borrow their pup and stroll through the yard. It’s definitely not immoral to pretend it’s yours. Rename it for the hour. Anybody’s dog is fair game to borrow, just give it back at the end and tell it you’ll always love it. You could also ask to walk your tutor’s toddler, but try not to ask the child if they have a summer internship lined up.

\r\n\r\n

Have a beach day

\r\n\r\n

Either make a box of tea and go for a dip in the harbor, or put on your #springbreak2022 bikini and splash in the MAC pool. Don’t be intimidated by the Olympic level swimmers in the next lane: invite them for a game of chicken fight, and don’t forget that there are flippers and pool noodles in the boxes by the pool. The lifeguard may not be as down to share a piña colada as they were when you saw them in Puerto Rico over break, but don’t let their whistling dissuade you from throwing a pool party.

\r\n\r\n

Refuse to do your homework

\r\n\r\n

Free yourself from the chains of the productivity economy! Protest your pset and the ivory tower’s focus on achievement! Sacrifice your term paper at the hearth of freedom! For the love of God, just take an afternoon off of work and relax!

\r\n\r\n

As the days get longer and warmer, do your best to get out and enjoy Cambridge. Work hard, but frolick harder.

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-6c1984a78bab4f3bda112e722a1e1203a25dfab4}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/thumbnails.thecrimson.com/photos/2018/04/24/213300_1330413.jpg.1500x999_q95_crop-smart_upscale.jpg', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])

('

{shortcode-26ff4afaa6deb73ebe816779665860bdbcc3994e}Whether it’s from countless all-nighters in Lamont or the heavy winds of New England winter-turning-to-spring, we’re all trudging across Harvard Yard like zombies in an apocalyptic world. As I lament the way we’re all slowly turning into zombies, I wonder how we’ll do in an actual zombie apocalypse. Will Harvard offer us any help? How long can we hold out until help arrives? Most importantly, where on Harvard’s 5,076 acre campus should we hide? Here are some of our thoughts:.

\r\n\r\n

Best Place: The Quad

\r\n\r\n

There is a benefit to being so distant from civilization after all. Being far away from the crowded Yard where all the action happens, the Quad will surely be spared from the initial outbreak when the zombies first appear. Besides, the distance is so insurmountable that even the zombies wouldn’t make the walk there. The Quad is the place to be as the undead overtake the world.

\r\n\r\n

Worst Place: Widener Library

\r\n\r\n

Zombie fights in school libraries might look cool on TV, but Widener is the last place you’d want to hide when the zombies are chasing you. The stacks look like a horror movie zone already. And though the beautiful aesthetics and silence in the reading rooms make Widener the perfect spot to study, the same silence means that every step you take will notify the zombies of your exact location. Useful to meet up with fellow survivors? Yes. Also useful for zombies to hear you and come rushing? Unfortunately, also yes.

\r\n\r\n

Best Place: Canaday

\r\n\r\n

Sure, everyone makes fun of Canaday’s bomb-shelter architecture, but when the time comes, that prison-like aesthetic and riot-proof design will serve as the formidable protection for students. Even if technology fails, Canaday inhabitants can always rely on Memorial Church’s bells to keep track of time. The only drawback of this hideout place: the Canaday rats. If you don’t get bitten by zombies, there are still the Canaday rats to worry about.

\r\n\r\n

Worst Place: Smith Campus Center

\r\n\r\n

A comfortable hiding spot? Yes. A good one? No. Once you get inside, Smith is not a bad place to be. It has all the amenities you need to wait out an apocalypse: comfy sofas, restrooms, foods and drinks, etc. — but it also has GLASS WALLS. Aside from the whole glass-is-transparent-and-can't-really-hide-you part, everyone knows that apocalypses involve a lot of broken windows on high floors. No thanks.

\r\n\r\n

Best Place: Kung Fu Tea

\r\n\r\n

Like with Smith, realistically speaking, the glass windows at Kung Fu Tea are a huge risk. But think about it. You can use the cooking utensils as weapons and the tables and desks as barricades for the door. Plus, all the free drinks at the abandoned KFT will keep you happy and energized while you wait to be rescued. If we’re gonna be stuck in a zombie apocalypse, might as well be where the boba is.

\r\n\r\n

Worst Place: The Charles River

\r\n\r\n

Can zombies swim? No idea. While it is tempting to jump into the river to get away from the zombies chasing you, is the murky Charles River truly safer than being caught by bloodthirsty zombies? Let’s hope we never have to find out.

\r\n\r\n

Hopefully, the zombie apocalypse never happens. But if the day ever comes (dear universe, that is NOT a manifestation btw), at least you’ll know where to avoid and where to seek refuge. Godspeed.

', [ShortcodeImageGQL(key='{shortcode-26ff4afaa6deb73ebe816779665860bdbcc3994e}', image_url='https://s3.amazonaws.com/media.thecrimson.com/photos/2022/03/22/174408_1355105.gif', nofilm=False, pos='center', size='large', byline=True, quote=False, quotebyline=False, theme='light', caption=None, hovertext=None, contributors=]>)])