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“Red Flags: 6’4”, Mustache, Furniture Designer,” reads a billboard on a building in New York City. What appears to be another dating app advertisement is actually a reference to West Elm Caleb, TikTok’s latest topic of interest.

West Elm Caleb is the latest dating horror story to storm the internet after a young woman shared a bad New York City dating anecdote on TikTok. While this original video was coincidentally about an unrelated tall Caleb from NYC, which the original creator clarified in future videos, it sparked a slew of comments about a “West Elm Caleb '' and the video quickly went viral. Multiple Tiktok users began commenting about similar dating experiences: including strong initial interest from Caleb, prompt date plans, and subsequent ghosting. User @fairnuf wrote, “he was texting so much then ghosted after asking me to dinner.” Some users described the behavior as “love bombing” (which is a serious manipulation tactic used by manipulators) and claimed they received the same reused playlist from the dater. Users soon realized they were discussing the same Caleb, identifiable by his title as a furniture designer at West Elm, and dubbed him “West Elm Caleb.”

The TikTok algorithm spread West Elm Caleb videos across a variety of “For You” pages, so that even users beyond New York City began to follow the drama. One TikTok user, @abigailmarissa123420, commented on a viral video: “Me being from Georgia and in a healthy relationship fully invested in west elm Caleb.” In response to the story, TikTok users from DC also posted videos supporting their “NYC girls” and tall male users interested in furniture design shared their dismay at being considered “red flags” on TikTok.

As the tale of West Elm Caleb became more and more widespread, people began sharing their thoughts on the situation, from analyses of NYC’s dating scene to jokes about West Elm’s reaction. One TikTok user, @fitmarissa_, put a video scrolling through Caleb’s Hinge profile to the song “Womanizer” by Britney Spears, while user @dxnielbennett created a parody of how one of Caleb’s future dates might go. Brand social media accounts also joined in, running ads and campaigns capitalizing on the story’s audience. Ruggable posted a TikTok advertising their rugs by saying they weren’t designed by West Elm Caleb and the Empire State Building’s TikTok account posted a video about dating in NYC due to West Elm Caleb. The joke culminated into the red flag billboard taken out by the dating app Keepler, yet another brand reference to the West Elm Caleb story.

Though most videos made about West Elm Caleb appeared to be made in good fun, some users seemed determined to expose his personal information. West Elm Caleb’s dating profile, full name, and photos circulated across TikTok and his place of employment, West Elm, was repeatedly tagged in videos by commenters requesting a statement from them. Caleb eventually took down his LinkedIn profile, likely in light of the constant online harassment.

Despite early support, creators like @taylorlorenz and @tofu_eater voiced that this severe reaction did not equal the nature of West Elm Caleb’s “crimes.” According to some users, while ghosting people isn’t the greatest dating etiquette, it’s not an infraction that justifies anonymous users demanding statements from West Elm Caleb’s employer, sharing his personal information, and generally harassing him online.

This fierce reaction by people who West Elm Caleb (mostly) hasn’t met calls into question when it’s appropriate to try holding people accountable and how to do so productively. Where should the line be drawn for personal interactions, like dating, as opposed to professional ones? The internet has granted intimate access to other people’s personal lives, playing a large role in dating culture and creating space for important discussions. The story of West Elm Caleb is an example of just how powerful those social media conversations are.

—Staff writer Anna Moiseieva can be reached at anna.moiseieva@thecrimson.com.