PICK: Penn 24, Columbia 21

BUCKNELL AT CORNELL

Cornell, I owe you an apology.

For years, I’ve described you as a cloudy wasteland where industries, stray animals, and dreams go to die. Well, last weekend, I made the trip to Ithaca, N.Y., and I wanted to say that I was mistaken. The sun came out.

Remarkably, the afternoon light wasn’t the largest upset on the day. The Big Red overpowered Harvard for 233 rushing yards and a 17-14 win.

Bucknell stands in the way of a second victory. Opponents have pummeled the Bison for 144 rushing yards per game. PETA probably would step in if it weren’t so busy at Yale (more on that storyline later).

A motivated, run-dominant Cornell. A hapless, run-vulnerable Bucknell. This combination seems to make for an easy pick. But the Big Red never meets expectations.

Cornell fans, prepare for some darkness—both literal and metaphorical—this weekend.

PICK: Bucknell 25, Cornell 13.

DARTMOUTH AT SACRED HEART

Strange things happen when you spend too much time in the woods. Take the Dartmouth football team, which has won a string of wacky games.

The season started with a 38-7 whopping of Stetson—no drama there. Then came perhaps the wildest contest in recent Ivy memory. With three seconds left, the Big Green blocked a game-tying extra point, returned it for a safety, but went to overtime after a penalty whistle. In the extra period, Dartmouth won, 27-26, on a stop on a two-point conversion.

How to follow up that act? How about with a last-second win over Penn on a fourth-and-inches touchdown?

Last weekend, Dartmouth merely completed the largest comeback in program history, erasing a 21-0 deficit to Yale. The winning score came on a fourth-down throw with 34 seconds left.

During the offseason, Big Green players must have wondered into the wilderness, found the devil, and sold their collective soul. That’s the only way to explain this nonsense.