Not only does Brown probably have better cookies, it also has the better football team.

Prediction: Brown 34, URI 21

PENN AT DARTMOUTH

Penn vs Dartmouth. Quakers vs Big Green. Big city, bright lights vs. … trees. Lots of trees.

Penn may have the advantage when it comes to location (we all know how the media favors big-city, East Coast teams), but Dartmouth certainly has the advantage when it comes to momentum.

Penn, after being favored by some to run away with the Ivy League crown, lost its first two contests. Luckily for the Quakers, both losses were against non-conference opponents, but this shaky start does not bode well for the Philadelphians.

Like wide-eyed freshmen embarking on FOP trips before fall semester, Penn will venture into the New Hampshire wilderness this weekend. Unlike these freshmen, Penn will leave having failed to develop any survival skills for life in the Ivy League.

Prediction: Dartmouth 42, Penn 20

PRINCETON AT COLUMBIA

I won’t name names, but one of my co-writers on the beat is sorely mistaken when it comes to Ancient Eight gridiron battles: Any football is good football.

I lied. I have to name names. Gant, that was too much disrespect in my book.

But if there’s one game that I would label a snoozefest, this might be it.

Two middle of the road schools, two middle of the road football teams.

For the fourth straight year, Columbia has started its campaign 0-2. The Lions have only scored 23 points and yielded 30 in their first two contests, paving the way for a game that might only be exciting if you’re one of the punters.

Princeton has been Columbia’s exact opposite offensively and defensively in 2016’s opening weeks. The Tigers have been outscored 73-63 so far, but hold a 1-1 record.