{shortcode-3ef2b864d438b5f8dd55871011e115260b53e836}Ever wondered how to make your Monday nights a little more exciting? Swing by 14 Plympton Street to join The Crimson’s Arts board in their weekly writers meeting. Bring this drinking game and a bottle of vodka, and you’ll fit into the family right away.

Disclaimer: I don’t actually drink. I don’t remember anything I learned from DAPA. And these things happen a lot during your average Arts meeting. Play at your own risk. For 21+.

Take a shot every time outgoing and incoming theater exec Trevor J. Levin ’19 fumbles to play “The Final Countdown” when two compers stand up to fight to the death for a pitch.

Take a shot if you thought “fighting to the death” meant actual fighting and were disappointed when all they did was play rock, paper, scissors.

Take a shot every time a comper chickens out of playing rock, paper, scissors. We want a bloodbath, not this incessant politeness.

Take a shot every time you’re a little freaked out that so many execs get weirdly excited about rock, paper, scissors.

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Take a shot every time someone references a previous exec who wasn’t around when you comped. Who’s Natalie Chang?

Take a shot every time a writer struggles to do simple math in a game of numbers. 31 - 17 = ?.

Take a shot every time the aforementioned writer gives the excuse: “We’re Arts! We don’t do math!”

Take a shot every time someone stands up to get a can of lukewarm PBR.

Don’t take a shot if the PBR is actually chilled.

Take a shot every time your answer to the week’s artistic question is stolen.

Take two shots every time “Shrek” is mentioned.

Take a shot every time incoming Editor-at-Large Grace Z. Li ’19 doesn’t have an answer to the week’s artistic question and humbly accepts “Shrek.”

Take a shot if you think that outgoing film executive Shaun V. Gohel ’18 should drop out of school and do movie voiceovers instead based on his high-quality, somewhat dramatic film pitches.

Take a shot every time someone makes the pun “life’s a pitch.”

Take a shot if outgoing Arts co-Chair Ha D.H. Le ’17 is sitting on the Crimson chair. Take two shots if outgoing Arts co-Chair Victoria Lin ’17 is.

Take three shots if the Crimson chair has been stolen by a semi-secret Sorrento Square social organization that used to occasionally publish a so-called humor magazine.

Take a shot every time a comper stole a pitch you wanted. Additionally, shoot the comper death glares from across the Sanctum.

—Grace Z. Li is the incoming Arts Editor-at-Large and designated driver for all upcoming Arts socials. Here’s to being the only sober person in the room!