15 Things FM Taught Us This Year

This year, we learned some things that you should know.

1. You should really feel poorly about shopping week and the hell it wreaks on graduate students. (“Scrambling for Stability: The TF Experience at Harvard,” 2/5/15)

2. Binge-eating a pound and a half of grapes at midnight is a great recipe for nausea.

3. Heaven exists and it’s filled with artisanal cheeses. (“The Cave Man,” 11/12/15)

4. There’s always room in the magazine for more felching.

5. It is possible to craft a theatrical drama around gamefowl. (“Harvard’s Favorite Turkey,” 10/1/15)

6. People make food dishes entirely inspired by literary puns. It is a thing they do. (“Edible Book Competition,” 4/9/15)

7. The managing editor probably won’t let you print any jokes about acts of terrorism or mass shootings. It’s a shame.

8. Oftentimes, it’s okay to cry. (“Pity Party,” 9/24/15)

9. It is really weird to attempt to match make at a group photo shoot.

10. If you write two stories involving start-ups, you will become The Crimson’s official tech beat writer. (“The Dropouts,” 2/19/15 and “There’s an Agency for That,” 10/22/15)

11. FM writers have pitiful upper body strength. (“Body by ROTC,” 2/26/15)

12. When trying to skip commitments, definitely call the person in charge and ask sheepishly.

13. Adult men say things like this: “Think about if you want to put a 200-year club at risk or gamble it on the metabolism of an 18-year-old woman… That’s what it comes down to.” (“Grad but Not Gone,” 4/9/15)

14. Don’t ever open the fridge in your office.

15. When you leave The Crimson at 9 a.m. after 40 minutes of sleep, you will be very cold and feel very intoxicated. (“Boots on the Ground: ROTC at Harvard,” 2/26/15)