At the same time that Murphy struggles to celebrate each big moment, they become harder to come by.

Winning makes winning more difficult, Murphy says.

“The problem now is that everybody thinks it’s easier now,” Murphy said. “It’s not. It makes it harder every year.”

‘MEANT TO BE’

One of the three pictures that sit behind Murphy’s championship rings is a signed photo of Isaiah Kacyvenski ’00 playing for the Seattle Seahawks.

Kacyvenski played a huge role in earning Murphy his first Ivy championship in 1997 and was the first Harvard player to start every game in his career. He set Crimson single-season and career records for tackles before becoming the highest draft pick in Harvard history in the 2000 NFL draft.

But Kacyvenski almost didn’t come to Harvard.

Murphy didn’t hear about the high school linebacker until late in the recruiting season. It only took a couple seconds of watching Kacyvenski on tape to realize he was worth meeting.

Murphy took a flight to Syracuse, N.Y., and then drove to Kacyvenski’s home. He knocked on the door and waited for several minutes.

No one came. Testing the doorknob, Murphy found it unlocked and stepped inside. It was so cold inside the home on that December day that Murphy could almost see his breath.

Soon, Kacyvenski appeared on the stairwell. The high schooler quickly apologized for not hearing Murphy’s knock and the two went to sit down. Murphy briefly mentioned that he generally talks with each recruit’s parents as well. He didn’t know much about Kacyvenski’s backstory.

“He said ‘Coach, you don’t know?’” Murphy remembered. “‘My mom was killed in a car wreck a couple weeks ago and I haven’t seen my dad in five years.’”

“At that point you stop being a coach and a recruiter and you become a parent,” Murphy said.

The two talked for hours, but Kacyvenski was still hesitant. Murphy remembers telling the recruit, “You are going to Harvard,” but Kacyvenski didn’t think he’d fit in with what he imagined the Harvard football team and student body were like.

He wouldn’t even commit to a tour when Murphy finally left.